1. I have a bad feeling that a few decades from now we’re all going to have some sort of disease or ailment and the cause will be an over consumption of technology.
2. In school, I was always really good at Geography. I’m not sure why. Tracing a map of Canada and colouring it was always frustrating. Do you guys know what Nunavut looks like? Do you?
3. I’ve decided that on the first of every month I am going to do a “50 Thoughts” post. I’m going to number them using roman numerals because “50 Thoughts 2” looks weird, and roman numerals need more exposure.
4. The first five people to tell me in the comments section the correct way to type out the number 14 in roman numerals will get a shoutout in “50 Thoughts III” next month.
5. Knock knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? No, it’s just Orange. Madonna doesn’t have a last name, why should I?
6. After fifteen minutes of listening to Leonardo DiCaprio’s horrible Boston accent in Shutter Island, I thought the movie was going to transition into a comedy. It didn’t.
7. In my first “50 Thoughts” post, the theme of describing the presidential candidates ran through the entire post. I’d like to have a theme run through all of these “50 Thoughts”. So this time, it’ll be song lyrics. Enjoy.
8. Say the words “hot take” out loud. Tell me how many times you pronounce the letter “t”. Because when I say it, the two words blend together and one “t” seems to get cut out.
9. Earth hour was two weeks ago. I just found that out now.
10. I wonder if ducks and geese ever play “Duck, Duck, Goose” when it’s game night at the Goslings.
11. If you’re above the age of 18 and you catch a t-shirt at a sporting event during the “t-shirt toss”, people will look at you and expect you to hand it off to a nearby kid. This needs to stop. Keep the t-shirt, adults!
12. Whoever was responsible for creating the spelling of the word “Wednesday” really messed up. Or maybe we’re all pronouncing it wrong and the letter “d” should be heard before the letter “n”.
13. Here in the dark, I cherish the moonlight. I’m in love with the way you’re in love with the night.
14. Pee Wee Herman never ages. That may explain why he never matures. If he ever grows up, he might have to change his name to Urine Herman. Sorry, bad joke. Nice ring to it, though!
15. “Will not” converts to “won’t”. Basically, all they did was take the “ill” out, flipped the order of the “n” and “o”, threw in an apostrophe, and called it “won’t”. Simple.
16. For the last two years, I’ve thought about putting up a post on April Fools Day called: “My last blog post” to give the impression that I’ll never blog again. But I’m too afraid to find out how many people wouldn’t actually care.
17. I can’t stress this enough, do not trust anyone who pours ketchup on top of their fries.
18. Unless there’s a deeper scientific meaning, the phrase “You are what you eat” makes absolutely no sense.
19. What do crabs wear on their legs? Crab leggings.
20. I’ve never had a sip of chocolate milk. I don’t see the point.
21. There is a fire inside of this heart and a riot about to explode into flames.
22. Just found out the other day that Fifth Harmony was a band (girl group?) and not just a sequel to Fourth Harmony, which I’ve also never heard of.
23. There are millions of people who support Donald Trump. Think about what that means.
24. Kudos to the person who created a song around the words: “three blind mice.”
25. Whoa…we’re halfway there. Whoa…livin’ on a prayer.
26. It’s taken me 24 years of eating relish to realize I don’t actually like relish.
27. I don’t like the smell of warm peanut butter.
28. Lean with it, rock with it, when we gonna stop with it? Lyrics that mean nothing, we were gifted with thought.
29. Fantasy basketball finals and fantasy hockey semi-finals are stressing me out this week more than any university exam ever did.
30. Remember when people had monthly text message limits? And they had to delete old texts from their inbox in order to receive new ones? That was like 40 years ago.
31. Fettuccine Alfredo.
32. I have no interest in watching Batman vs. Superman. It almost brings a smile to my face to hear that there were negative reviews.
33. American sports broadcasters use every opportunity they can to make a football analogy while doing play-by-play for sports that aren’t football. Half of the players in the NBA are linebackers.
34. American Idol feels extremely rushed this season. It also feels like a high school talent show.
35. Shoutout to a really good friend of mine who never fails to make me laugh and keep me humble, while always being brutally honest. We haven’t known each other for a long time, but it feels like we have. She is the caesar dressing to my salad. Croutons are optional.
36. Banana Pudding.
37. If I were Eminem I would go around town challenging people to rap battles.
38. Knees weak, arms are heavy. There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti.
39. When I was little, I saw the word “chaos” in a video game. I always pronounced it in my head as “chay-os” – the alternative to “churros”.
40. So, did anyone else see a big bunny in their house on Easter, or just me?
41. And now my dreams are nothing like they were meant to be. And I’m breaking down, I think I’m breaking down.
42. The first CD I ever owned was a Jazz CD. I have only ever listened to the first song on it.
43. Bob Barker was everyone’s babysitter when we were home sick from school.
44. After a rain storm, open the window and breathe in through your nose. Enjoy.
45. The audience on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire was always so willing to help a contestant win money. I wonder how many of them were secretly bitter it wasn’t them in the hot seat.
46. If American politics were pro wrestling, we would have Trump vs. Cruz in a loser leaves town steel cage match w/Mitt Romney as special guest referee.
47. Bingo is all about luck.
48. I dare you to tell me to walk through fire, wear my soul and call me a liar.
49. Brian Fallon’s first solo album is great!
50. Grammar is important.