This past weekend I officially hit 3000 followers on my blog. I guess this means that there are people in the world who like the things I write. Or, their finger slipped and hit the “Follow” button by accident.
Either way, I’ll take it.
I just want to give a sincere thank you to everyone who follows this blog, whether you’ve been here for a day, or two and a half years. This blog wouldn’t be what it is without you. Your constant words of encouragement and interaction makes this a really fun place to be.
So many of my jokes would’ve fallen on deaf ears and that’s an absolute tragedy because I’m hilarious.
When I hit 1000 followers, I threw a blog party where I brought 22 party size pizzas. They were eaten in an internet world record time of 0.5 seconds. Oh, you animals!
When I hit 2000 followers, I conducted a roll call. I wanted you to tell me that you were here and not playing hooky for the day.
Now, I’m at 3000 followers. Somehow. Really, never in my wildest dreams did I think I would get here. I remember being so excited over 100 followers and thinking I was a rock star who should probably hire an agent and a security guard to deal with all the screaming fans who wanted pictures and autographs whenever I left my house.
For this occasion, I’m throwing a joke party!
I want everyone who reads this to tell a joke in the comment section below!
Laughing is fun, so let’s have some fun with this. Original jokes are encouraged, but not required. Lame jokes are encouraged. Puns are also encouraged.
Basically, anything that will make me and whoever is reading this, laugh their head off. Hopefully, not literally.
I want those knee-slapping jokes. So, let’s see what you guys got! Don’t disappoint me, please.
Again, thank you for all the support. I encourage all of you to keep writing. Someone out there does care about the words you have to say, even if your stats page doesn’t always tell you that. Just trust me.
I’ll start this joke party off with a simple joke:
Even after ABCDEFG, the alphabet says HI. And then it says JK.
Like your joke Paul, here goes my attempt.
A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender goes, “hey, we don’t serve mushrooms here”. The mushroom says, “why not I’m a fun-ghi 🙂
Congrats on 3000. Awesome.
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Hahaha love it! Thanks, Miriam!
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Hope you get loads more. I’m gonna check back!!!
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Hey! Congrats, Paul. Really, your blog is one that I always look forward to reading, with every post you post!
…and I’m a sucker for puns. Here goes mine:
“The French are so hardcore, they eat pain for breakfast.” 😛
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Hahah and here I am thinking they ate a baguette with every meal. Thank you!!
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Hi Paul,
thanks for sharing something different post from others. because everybody is engage with their works. this time such type of jokes have great value for us.
thanks,
http://www.lomaxwood.co.uk/
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Well, I don’t have any original jokes, but here’s one that my friend is saying in a play that makes me laugh every time.
Her: Do you know why the graveyard is so popular?
Random guy who gets roped in: No, I couldn’t imagine.
Her. I don’t either, but I hear people are dying to get in.
Congrats on 3 grand and I’m proud to be one!
Squid
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Haha! Thank you!
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Congratulations!!!
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Hey I showed up. That’s enough joke.
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Lol thanks. I’ll write your joke for you.
“A tiny giant walked into a bar…of chocolate.”
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Hahahahhahaha!
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What do you call a occupied lavatory on a plane?
a hy-pot-in-use 🙂 congrats!
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Haha thank you!
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math jokes. ;P no problem!
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Love math jokes. They add up.
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nice 🙂
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There were five people aboard an airplane having engine trouble getting ready to crash, however, there were only four parachutes. Everyone wondered what should be done to determine who should get the parachutes. One person said that he was the smartest thing that hit the face of the Earth, and that he was too smart to die. So, he took one of the parachutes and jumped out of the aircraft. The second person said that she was too important to die, she had children and a family to take care of, and they depended on her to care for them. So, she took one of the parachutes and jumped out of the aircraft. The third person said that he was too important to die because his family depended on him for survival. He was the head of household and the sole bread winner. So, he took one of the parachutes and jumped out of the aircraft. Finally, there were only two people left, and one parachute. One person was a 12 year old boy, and the other was a 65 year old man. The old man said, “Well son, I have lived a good life, and you are too young to die, you have a long life ahead of you. So, you take the last parachute. The boy asked, “Why, Sir?” The old man said, “Well, there is only one parachute left.” The little lad said, “Sir there are really two parachutes left.” The old gentlemen asked, excitedly, “Yeah? How?” “Well,” replied the boy, “you know that guy who thought he was the smartest and greatest thing that hit the face of the Earth? He grabbed my backpack.”
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Haha I don’t know if I should be laughing but I am. Thanks for participating, Don!
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You’re welcome. Great idea and congratulations BTW. I hit 200 a couple of weeks ago, but you are in a different league.
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Slow and steady, my friend. You’ll get to this point too!
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So good… I am crying so hard 😛
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I miss role call! Hii. I’ll think of a joke later.
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Hey BBFFL!
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grats mate.
**And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life”
But John came fifth, and won a toaster**
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Hahah I like it! Thank you!
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I’m not good with jokes or puns so let me just tell you a funny/true story instead.
One time, my grandma gave me a bottle of lube….
YOU’RE WELCOME.
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LOL this might just be the best one today! Amazing.
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That is an awesome way to celebrate!
Ahem.
There was once a baby chick born with no ass. Once it tried to fart and it exploded. *drops mike*
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Hahahaha I laughed too hard at this. Thanks!
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It’s my favorite : D
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Congrats!
Here is a terrible (but great) pun I found on Tumblr recently:
“I am a super villain. My name is Dr. Cake. Welcome to my layer.”
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Hahaha! I really like this one.
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Congrats
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Thanks!
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You’re welcome xo
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My local vicar is a complete narcissist. It’s all hymn hymn hymn.
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Congrats!
So there were two sausages being cooked in a frying pan. One looks at the other and asks, “Is it hot in here or is it just me?” The other screams, “Oh my God! A talking sausage!”
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Haha good one! Now I’m hungry for sausage…
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I would give you a good joke. But I couldn’t be funny to save my life.
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Sorry. But great job on getting 3000 followers. That is amazing. I can see how excited you must be.. 🙂
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Thank you!
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My dad found out I had an imaginary girlfriend. He came into my room and gravely closed the door.
” Look,why are you doing this? You can do so much better? ” I was pretty comforted and said, ” thanks dad,it means a lot. ”
” shut up, ” he said. ” I’m talking to your girlfriend ”
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Haha! I hope this isn’t a true story!
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What biscuit fly’s?
A plane biscuit.
Lame but what do you expect it’s 5am!
Well done that man, I don’t nearly enough time to read everyone’s blog., but I make the effort for yours.
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Haha lame jokes are always welcome here! Thank you for reading!
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Congrats on 3000!
That was the joke. I’m actually jealous and spiteful. . . No, I’m joking. Seriously, congratulations!
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Haha that’s a comment I would leave on a post like this too. Well done!
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Why do the French only use one egg to make an omlette?
Because one egg is an oeuf.
Was that a lame joke? It was as good as it gets. I am late, I am sorry, but I hope it still made you crack a smile. Congratulations on 3k followers. That’s amazing. Enjoy your weekend. xx
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Haha that is a great lame joke! Definitely cracking a smile over here. Have a great weekend!
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Paul, I only need 2999 more followers and we’ll be tied for followers! Can you believe it? I had no idea how close we were to being tied. Of course, I’d need another $2999, but my follower won’t read on the cheap. He wouldn’t accept less than the last dollar I had in my wallet. I’m not complaining, though. I suppose that’s the price one has to pay to be an American blog writer these days. I imagine the going rate is a little cheaper up there in Canada. But, your 3000 followers are still mighty impressive—even with that rate of exchange. Ha, imagine if we didn’t have to pay for followers? LOL! Well, we can dream can’t we? Seriously though, congratulations Paul. It speaks to how much we enjoy reading your posts. Keep em coming. :O)
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The follower exchange rate is a bit wonky. If I ever moved to the US I’d probably lose followers, or at least the ones that don’t have a passport. But thank you, Paul, for always supplying the humour in your comments that I can later steal as my own since we share the same name! (You can ignore that last sentence).
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LOL! Just part of Paul & Paul incorporated. You know us conglomerates. 😀
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why do ghosts not like rain on halloween?
cause it dampens their spirits! 😆
congrats on the 3000 milestone👍💗
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Hahaha that’s wonderful! Thank you!
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O! I have to P….I hope there is no Q. Y? We’ll have to Z.
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Hahah thanks for continuing with the alphabet humour!
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I couldn’t get all the letters in there, but I knew you would get it.
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Can I get back to you on this? I need to consult my ten year old self as she is the only one who was any good at jokes 😉 Congrats on 3K!!
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Sure! I feel like an “Orange you glad I didn’t say banana” kinda joke is on its way.
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Followed by copious amounts of giggling, yes.
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And then a joke about chickens crossing the road, right?
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How about a “whadda ya get when” joke?
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Hahaha I’m already laughing at just those 4 words. Bring it on!
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Whadda ya get when you make a strawberry work the traffic signal?!
A traffic jam of course 😂😂😂
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LOL lame joke get me every time. 10 year old Liz was probably the most popular kid on the playground
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She did alright. Always killed with the lame jokes but could never make the “yo mamma jokes” land!
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I’m seriously so not a funny person lol I blank on command. Super duper happy for you and your blogs success congrats!! Please don’t make me Google one haha!
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Haha it’s alright, this comment made me smile anyway. Thank you!
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Pheewww lol 🙂 Of course
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Congrats!
And here’s my all time favourite.
“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather – peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.” 😛
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Haha those poor passengers!
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Congrats on the 3000 followers Paul. Grand job. You deserve it. I’m funny in real life but not because I make obvious jokes. And I’m not good with puns either. But if you could laughy your taffy for me, then I’d be happy slappy. Wonka whacky really! Congrats again! 😛
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I laughied my taffy! Thanks Carlos!
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No problem!
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I don’t know why I missed this party. And did you say THREE THOUSAND? WOW! I don’t know any jokes 😦 Sad considering I say many funny stuff on my blog. But I liked yours! Tell me another one please Paul.
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Haha closing in on 3500 now somehow. It’s crazy to me.
Here’s a joke I just thought of 4 seconds ago: Why was the farm animal always afraid? He was chicken. ahahahahahaha
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Wow Paul wow. And congrats!
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congratulations to you for 3001 followers….1 follow from my side… go ahead, its a great achievement…
Visit to my blog-:
https://breadomlette.wordpress.com/ and give your valuable comments and likes, don’t forget to follow……..
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Ok. So, I know I am WAY late, but I just have too many jokes I want to share with the world.
There was this Mexican magician who was preforming one night and told his crowd that he would disappear in 3 seconds. He started to count, “Uno. Dos.” and disappeared without a trace.
What do you call a computer that sings? A Dell
What do you call it when Batman skips out on church? A Christian bail
Autocorrect makes me say things I don’t Nintendo.
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Haha I’m gonna have to use that Mexican magician joke on people but switch it around so that I disappear in 3 seconds.
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