Tell Me When

I do not know when but it was not then
that I realized you were really there
maybe sitting in my leather chair
as I lay on the floor by the door
praying that there would be something more
and with every cry was a wonder why
the footsteps on the other side got louder
before they slowly started to die
allowing only a cold breeze to come under
making me wonder if I would ever escape that blunder

And it was more of a command
that you reach down and grab my hand
to bring me through to round two
on the other side of the door
with my two feet planted on the floor
looking at what I always wanted to see
a new beginning that included me
in a world where we did not bicker
moving quicker and quicker
until there was nothing left but a flicker

But now I see what you did for me
how it was as simple as counting to three
and climbing a tree to feel alive and free
away from the ground that held me near
I could not handle another fear
so when the knock at the door finally came
nothing was ever the same
all the pain you took away
left a large debt for the day
still impossible to repay

Through it all I never said thank you
or even knew why it was so easy
to wake up without feeling queasy
it became a routine
like adding gravy to poutine
there was a comfort I never thought I would find
with a dozen hearts so kind I was in a bind
such a thought only left me blind
I was a fool to think it would last
unaware it could end so fast

Now I sit on the floor by the door once more
my heart is a drum expecting something to come
counting past my thumb never felt so numb
but my faith in you will never leave
because the rocks tell me to believe
I know you are here sitting in the chair so near
waiting for me to look up and grab your hand
trusting in everything you have planned
so can we do what we did back then
the part where you pick a time but not tell me when.

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About Paul

This is the part where I'm supposed to write something interesting about myself and you'll read it and think, "That's not that interesting." So let's not do that and just think about pizza instead, on the count of three. One, two, three. Donuts. Now, wasn't that interesting?
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19 Responses to Tell Me When

  1. Love. There’s so much longing and nostalgia in this. I also like your song selection.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Great post. The last stanza is my favorite. Those lines are the quiet rays of morning sunlight breaking through the darkness of the night.

    I get the sense that you may write poetry the same way that I do. Poetry is my way of pouring out the intensity of emotions that I don’t otherwise know how to process. The hurt and confusion and longing find their way through my pen to the page, but – because written within me is the desire for a happy ending – I am always forced in the last stanza to speak truth over myself; to find the silver lining; to discover hope amid the hurt of all the prior stanzas, giving them greater purpose and meaning.

    Thanks for sharing your heart. He may not tell you when, but I believe His plans for you are good. Sorrow may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Paul says:

      Thank you so much for this comment! We definitely write poetry for the same reasons and in the same style. You’re right in that I feel compelled to make the final stanza always try and be a light at the end of the tunnel sort of thing. The poem wouldn’t feel complete without it.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. The video isn’t available in my country? Must be some American law. It just makes me want to see it more, because I’m rebellious like that, and don’t like to hear no. (Which is probably where my boys get it from. ) PS Keep working on your poetry Paul, it’s my favorite, because you’re the most vulnerable in your writing.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Barb Knowles says:

    I couldn’t see the video either but will go to YouTube. I think this is your best poem yet. You express your emotions in a powerful way. Oh…..you spelled “color” wrong (here we go again).

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      I think this is my best one too. Just felt different than the rest.

      Honestly, I think the entire word “color” is wrong. I say the word and don’t hear the letter “o” at all. The whole word needs to be rewritten.

      Cuhler.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Barb Knowles says:

        Oh man that is perfect. We use the “u” in the word velour. So when Canadians/Brits add the u, I automatically try to say the word to rhyme with velour. And they don’t. I think you pronounce them the same way as we do (regional variations aside). Oh no! I see a “u” obsession forming! Again, your poem was great.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. 26. The number of times I’ve listened to this song since I bought the MP3 album Friday. My friend with a song writing blog featured City & Color this week because I was raving about the music. Thanks again Paul.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. LosiLosLoco says:

    This was so wonderful to read. The rhyme and the colloquial nature of it is hypnotizing. Good work Paul 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: Have A Nice Read! #2 | ThoughtsOfaTrainwreckedPineapple

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