Everything You Want Is Wrong

I never wanted any of this. I didn’t want a blog. I didn’t want interaction with strangers. I didn’t want friends; I had enough friends. I didn’t want to share my thoughts on the Internet. And I sure didn’t want to type out 1000 words for fun and not receive a mark in return.

But that’s exactly what I’ve ended up with.

Today is my two-year blogiversary.

I started this blog in the wee hours of the morning on June 23, 2013. I can’t believe where the time has gone.

Did I know what I was doing? Not at all. The theme of my blog and colour scheme is still exactly how it was on day one. I changed the header image a few weeks ago just to see what a different picture would look like and it felt weird. I immediately switched it back.

Who knows, maybe I’ll eventually change it to something else. For now, though, I can’t.

My intention for this blog was to write about sports. I didn’t care about followers; I didn’t even know there was such a thing. I didn’t want interaction with weirdos. I just wanted a place to talk about sports.

So that’s what I did.

My first post had zero likes until these past two weeks. Now, it has two likes.

Do you want to read my first ever blog post? Here it is: Leading Off.

After a few months of writing about sports, I came to a roadblock. I realized that anything I said about sports had probably already been said somewhere else on the Internet. What made my opinion matter? What made me different? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I can’t tell you how much that bothers me. To always go with the flow and do what everyone else is doing. I can’t stand it. I like my own ideas.

By September 2013, my mind was telling me to write about sports, while my heart was telling me to write about something else.

So, I did. I wrote a post called I Miss School, Already. It got Freshly Pressed. That was the turning point.

Anyone can think of the same idea as someone else and put it into words. But only you can speak from your own heart.

That’s what makes us different, y’all.

I started making friends on WordPress. Real people; not weirdos. I’m looking at you, followers from September 2013.

[I have had an urge lately to start writing about sports again, but I know as soon as I do, I will alienate almost all of you. I apologize in advance. If I write about sports and that doesn’t interest you, don’t feel obligated to read it. I’ll understand.]

Fast forward to March 2014. The majority of my posts were not about sports. I got Freshly Pressed again; it was a post about sports. I found it ironic.

Then I got tired. I got tired of thinking. I got tired of blogging. I got tired of writing meaningful posts that no one seemed to care about.

Out of twelve months, I only posted more than five posts in two of the months. Last year, my blog was like a tumbleweed blowing through an empty street.

Fast forward to March 2015. I got my mojo back. I don’t know what it was, but something started to click. I started to be myself. My entire self. All the jokes and pizza references I make, this is me.

I started making new friends. I won’t dare attempt to make a list of names because there are too many. You know who you are. <— Such a high school yearbook thing to say.

People have been telling me that I’m funny and they look forward to reading my blog every day. I almost don’t believe it. These compliments are still new to me. A lot of you think I’ve been this “good” forever.

I’ve gone from a sports blogger who didn’t care about interacting with followers to a blogger who only wants to make his followers smile, laugh, and crave pizza every second of the day.

So cheesy.

Joseph Arthur wrote the song lyric, “Everything you want is wrong” in his song, Honey And The Moon.

I think those five words sum up my blog perfectly. They also sum up life in general, but you can make those connections on your own.

This blog has turned into something I did not want.

I am so glad that it has.

Your Captain,
Paul #91

Stick around for the party. I asked all of you in a previous post to bring a food item. So far, people are bringing: pizza, CAKE, pavlova, virtual chips, drinks, pasta, donuts, lobster, mini hot dogs, M&Ms, and guacamole. Feel free to bring more. We’re all gaining weight today.  

I also asked you to buy me a gift. Yeah, I can be sentimental and greedy in the same post. Tell me in the comments below what you got me!


About Paul

I think of my blog as an all-you-can-read buffet. There's something for everyone and complimentary mints at the door as you leave.
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140 Responses to Everything You Want Is Wrong

  1. A birthday to your blog and me, Paulo 🙂 Congratulations!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Happy blog birthday Paul!
    I’m bring brownies and for the gift…. Wait, that’s a secret, you’ll never know, *evil laugh*

    Liked by 3 people

  3. “So Cheesy” Mmmm… Cheeese…. … dammit, now I want pizza… 😛

    Liked by 2 people

  4. mona-lisa says:

    This is lovely, I love hearing about how people get to be who they are. I think that’s the most important lesson in life – everything you want is wrong. Can I bring chocolate fondue? It’s not a party without a chocolate fountain. Happy birthday to The Captains Speech!!!!!

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Issa says:

    You got exactly what you asked…you know weirdos….

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Issa says:

    Well I will bring a bowl of soup for when people start gettting sick from all the pizza and M&M and chocolate fountains and then when they start eating the soup I party with the good stuff..you the pizza and M&M and chocolate fountains…who asked to be friends with weirdos

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Buzzer Beater Supreme says:

    I volunteer many forms of bacon as tribute for this party.
    And as a party gift I’ll bring a cool shirt that says: “Sorry, I couldn’t think of anything better”.
    No, really, it literally says it, like, verbally and stuff *thumbs up*

    Liked by 2 people

  8. peckapalooza says:

    Crave pizza… So cheesy… I see what you did there. Well played, sir.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. DoesItEvenMatterWhoIAm? says:

    I am giving you your very own captain’s hat! It is high time you have one to call your own. Just like a ship captain ya know? Also my bloguddy Fannie Frankfurter has an AWESOME shirt that I think I should get for you, it says: “PIZZA NEVER LIES” and I think that with the hat and the shirt, you would be good to go! Happy blogiversary! ♡♡♡ M

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Mez Akhtar says:

    Hi Paul! Happy birthday to your blog!!!
    Well done, you’re a great writer.
    Oh, I’m bringing chocolate fudge cake to the party. ☺️ I’ll be joining the party at 9:45 PM as I’m fasting for Ramadan… Save me some pizza though please. And don’t worry, I’ve got your present. ☺️

    Liked by 1 person

  11. heymeghan91 says:

    I now want pizza and it’s not even 9am. Happy Blog Birthday Paul! Where is the pizza

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Amy says:

    Popcorn and your favorite movie – what is it?

    Liked by 2 people

  13. George says:

    Congratulations on your Anniversary. I suppose its like the lyrics from a Rolling Stones song. ” You can’t always get what you want, but sometimes you find, you get what you need.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Melinda Young says:

    I, too, enjoy your blogs for your humorous view of everyday things. It is a great gift-the gift of laughter. Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed about it. Not everyone has this wonderful gift. I love reading your posts because my husband is currently dealing with cancer and your posts help me to deal with the situation. For a little while each day I can forget about it. Please don’t stop giving your unique view of things. Have a great day!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      I’m so sorry to hear that. My heart goes out to you both, and your family. I’m glad my blog can help put a smile on your face. All the best!


  15. SJ says:

    Hapy blogoversary Paul! Two years is quite the milestone. I reached it on my old blog, ran out of steam and started a new one. Here’s to you having more perseverance than I did.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Little Rants says:

    I got you a bunch of hugs!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Lyndsi says:

    Definitely got you an electric fly swatter. I think after reading your two posts about attack Flys it is something you need and will enjoy.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Titan Panda says:

    How dare someone that isn’t me bring M&Ms… And your gift was too hot to touch, so obviously couldn’t wrap or mail it. I’m sure you can guess what it is, if not, I guess it stays a secret


  19. “I changed the header image a few weeks ago just to see what a different picture would look like and it felt weird. I immediately switched it back.” – we are all creatures of habit. (me too, I go to Del Taco and order the same damn thing- the combo/fries/lemonaide)

    Oh, and stop your belly aching about the sports thing… been freshly pressed twice ( 3x?) – some of us have never been freshly pressed. We have to admire you and your good fortune. Hahahah 🙂

    On that note: It’s like a mystery of who is chosen, or what material is chosen. What are the rules? How do you qualify? I think the WordPress Powers that BE, need to have bloggers “nominate” favorite blog posts. (I do agree, you are interesting and glad to have found you and deserve to be front page news… but some of those on there? Holy cow…I mean, really?)

    Every time we turn around, you want something (SIGH) commenters, food, and now a GIFT? How ’bout a swift-kick-in-the-pants, followed by a noogie or wet-willie, served up with a mud pie or a pie-in-the-face… I just can’t decide…? Stay-tuned, I’ll blog about it…


    Liked by 1 person

  20. rebbit7 says:

    Congrats, man! It’s amazing how far you’ve come. I’m sure that you will continue to grow and change through blogging on WordPress.

    Oh, and by the way, you forgot that I will be bringing pasta. 😛

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Mindy says:

    Happy day!! Can I bring a cookie pizza?

    Liked by 2 people

  22. paigetheresa says:

    Happy Blogiversary! I really do look forward to reading your stuff, every day. Even though you make me crave allllll the pizza. I’m bringing Jack Daniels & Dark Chocolate Cupcakes (I promise they won’t get you drunk, they’re just dang yummy) and a keyboard engraved with “Captain’s Log” – don’t forget, you’re bringing the maple syrup 😛

    Liked by 3 people

  23. Dream it Alive says:

    I brought over my caramel-chocolate striped cheesecake and for your gift *hands over big trophy all shiny and awesome with “Captain deserves the best* engraved.

    Liked by 2 people

  24. Pingback: Cheers to Noogie Pie | Flip Flops Everyday

  25. chiutopia says:

    I just began to follow your blog few weeks ago. I read you twice or three times a week and I really like how you write. It is funny yet natural! Congratulations for these two years. Your post makes me wonder if that will happen to my blog, I began two months ago and I like what I write but who knows what will happen in the future.
    Anyway, happy birthday as well and enjoy all of this!

    Liked by 2 people

  26. anxietybug88 says:

    I’m a weirdo and proud of it, dangit! I can be both! Also, I would actually be interested in reading your take on sports. I hate sports, to be honest, but knowing that you would be the one writing about them would make me want to read those posts. It’s the only way I’m ever going to learn the difference between curling and basketball. Also, I didn’t get you anything because I’m flat broke AND my awesomeness is payment enough. I’m like a celebrity of the weirdo world. You should be honored. But if I had money, I would buy you an international pizza and pay thousands of dollars for them to fly it on a private jet to your house before it gets cold.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      All weirdos are welcome! I think all bloggers have a bit of weirdness in them. If you think of it, we’re basically just talking to ourselves on here. That’s pretty weird. I love curling! Haha. That international pizza/jet does sound expensive, you’re forgiven!

      Liked by 1 person

  27. Squidtea says:

    I am bringing a giant imaginary watermelon! They taste amazing because there are no seeds whatsoever, (not even those tiny ones that apparently don’t count as seeds for the advertising people) and the texture is perfect. For your present… Well, consider the watermelon to be a present for your tastebuds.

    Liked by 2 people

  28. I enjoy reading your blog Paul,you write from your heart so it reaches us, happy birthday 🎂 to your blog, can i bring flowers 💐 😁

    Liked by 2 people

  29. Jessie Reyna says:

    Happy blogiversary! And I was always so charmed in middle school and high school when people wrote “HAGS” in my yearbook…*tear*.
    At least I knew it meant “Have a Good Summer” and not “You’re a hag…” Upside.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. James says:

    Sorry I’m late – my boss took me and my colleagues out for pizza today. He said something about it being for ‘working hard’ all year, but I wasn’t buying it for a second. Pizza on your blogiversary? Too much of a coincidence. Oh, I brought ice-cream and jelly for the party. I didn’t know what to get for a present so I got you ‘days of the week socks’, which are absolutely not second hand…

    Liked by 3 people

    • Paul says:

      So cool for your boss to celebrate my blogiversary too! He was probably to embarrassed to say the real reason. Days of the week socks! Sounds like a re-gift. I’ll accept it though.

      Liked by 1 person

  31. High five, Paul. I started mine on the same day and year. Happy anniversary! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  32. amandatori says:

    I really do look forward to reading your posts each day. And for your party I bring nachos! But, not like the kind you’d find in a Mexican restaurant. The kind you’d buy at the movies with the really good, and super bad for you cheese. Isn’t that gift enough?

    Liked by 2 people

  33. amorefado says:

    HAPPY BLOGIVERSARYERRWHATEVERTHEHECKITSCALLED!!!!!! I’m a weirdo and proud of it! lol Here…A boatload of prostitutes. Do what you’d like with them.

    Liked by 1 person

  34. hmekeel says:

    This post makes me excited for you, but also excited about where my blog could potentially go. I’m not much into sports, but I’ll read it if that’s what your heart tells you to do haha. I’ve got the chicken wing dip covered, and I got you a fly swatter. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  35. Barb Knowles says:

    What a poignant post, Paul. I wonder how I’ll feel after 2 years (actually after 1 year). I’ll have to go back and see when my first post was. Like you, I started out thinking that I would write only about teaching and how it is nothing like one is prepared for (much different, much better, much crazier). And then I started writing about what makes me laugh, what bothers me, what’s on my mind. I expected each post to be funny (at least to me), but I’ve gotten away from that somehow. Now only some are funny. And, like you, it was a shock that other people would want to read what I wrote.
    So, kindred spirit from a different country and a different generation, on this blogiversary, my gift to you is my friendship. Happy Day to you!

    Liked by 2 people

  36. Well, I’m speechless Paul, and but that can’t be true because I’ve never been speechless Paul. Speechless Paul lives on some island around the South Pole, I think that was because his lips were frozen together there. So, I’ll tell you that I’m happy you stayed with blogging as I enjoy reading your Canadian slant on the rest of the world in general, but that’s people from Toronto for you…what can you do? You folks have given us Looney June, Cooking with Paulo, and pizza. Oh wait, that was you! The Ethiopians gave the world pizza, but no one wanted to eat it, so Italy has never forgiven them for that—which is strange when you consider no Italian has ever tasted a pizza before, I mean, the Romans have been gone for such a long time. However, if you should decide that writing about sports is the way you wish to go, who are we to stop you, just a bunch of thugs and hooligans from south of your border who stole your national sport called, ice hockey. Now, go and write about the Jays, Maple Leafs and Argos… I command thee! :O)

    Liked by 2 people

  37. shubhada says:

    Hiii Paul! I’ve been away from blogging for a while, you know – needed a break.


    I loveee it when you get sentimental!! Honestly, think about doing more sentimental posts. Rather than sports (I’m not that much into sports) 😛 😀

    I didn’t know about the party so I didn’t bring anything. Can I still join the party? I promise I’ll be good.

    Liked by 2 people

  38. casondra2rey says:

    Lol!! I feel that although you would probably have no real use for it. You have the personality that tells me you would enjoy a gavel. A real one like on judge Judy haha!! I received one when I became president of my college organization and well it was pretty dang awesome. 🔨 yeah they don’t have an emoji for it lol! Enjoy

    Liked by 2 people

  39. Oh my, I arrived fashionably late for the party Paul! You’ll have to forgive me. Your gift is my mere presence because I’m the follower from September 2013! 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  40. My absolute favourite thing about this entire post (and it was hard to choose) is that you quoted Honey and the Moon. It’s one of my all time number one songs and no one ever seems to know it/remember it. You’ve got great taste in music! Congratulations for two years and I know you’ve got plenty more to come 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  41. rebecak says:

    Your blogiversary was my birthday as well. You picked a great day to start your blog!! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  42. Liz says:

    Hey, this is amazing! I hope I make it as far as you have. Or even until next Wednesday. 🙂 Yippie!

    Liked by 2 people

  43. Suri says:

    Belated Happy Blogiversary Paul!! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  44. Little Rants says:

    Omg Paul. I miss you!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  45. Congrats! Where’ve you been??


  46. shubhada says:

    Where are you these days?!

    Liked by 1 person

  47. Havle says:

    I loved the post 🙂 It was very sincere :))))))

    Liked by 1 person

  48. paigetheresa says:

    So, creeping the comments you have replied to I realize you are not dead – which is good news. Since you are not dead, please come back. We miss you.

    Liked by 1 person

  49. markbialczak says:

    Happy and wonderful two years, my friend from the north. I hope you’ve been well during your recent BloggyVille break. I see you’re saying you’ll return soon. Hooray for us. I take it you’ve been eating pizza and stocking up on funny little Paulisms. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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