Miss me?
I like how I don’t post anything for an entire week and people send out a search party for me. Yes, I am alive. Yes, I am okay. Yes, I had pizza today.
Well, that covers everything.
Just a heads up, my posting schedule for the next two months will be solely based off of “How tired is Paul right now?” (I’ll explain more in a later post, maybe.)
Which means, I may never post again.
Which means, don’t expect something new every day like I’ve been doing for the last two months or so. However, there are currently 184 posts on my site that you can easily find and read if when you need to kill time at work.
If your boss catches you reading my blog, tell them to pull up a chair and read with you. It can be like story time for adults. Hope you all brought a pillow and blanket! A hard desk will suffice.
What you can expect from me this summer is many laughs and many pizza references. If you want more than that, just ask.
Also, my two year blogiversary is next Tuesday, June 23rd. So if you haven’t gotten me a gift yet, get on it! Pizza is not a gift, be creative.
Now to the purpose of this post.
Apparently, I have 2013 followers on this blog. I think that’s a lot, especially considering the fact I was at 1000 followers about two months ago.
I owe you all a giant “Thank You”. You can come pick it up from me personally, or just accept those two words and eight letters via the Internet.
I don’t want to get too sentimental with you for a second consecutive post, so I won’t.
Just know that I appreciate you, your comments, and your sense of humour.
Now, we’re going to have an old-fashioned roll call. I am taking attendance. If you are here, tell me you are here in the comments below. Also, tell me why you follow my blog.
Basically, I want to shower in compliments for the first time in a week.
I’ll provide the soap.
It took one week for this blog to get awkward. One. Week.
Hey Paulo 😛
Everyone writes too damn serious and here you here always bringing in novelty with wits! If the world is facing a blackout, we have Paul in here telling us there is also a fly to be scared of or a new pizza in town to eat and blah blah 😀
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Haha I’m like a soft chair. Always there for some relief!
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hahah you are credulous 😛
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I’m here! But not because you just told me you posted! Because I want to be. And that’s because you like pizza, I like pizza, and everything you write makes me chuckle. Our minds are very similar too and that’s cool. Also, how else would I learn about the great country of Canada?
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Haha I find that pizza has a way of bringing people together. It must be the cheese. Thanks for providing me with some American insight too!
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You know cheese, such a sneaky insulator keeping the sentimental warm feels underneath. Anytime, eh! Okay sorry. Had to.
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I’ve taught you well.
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Present! 😉
I follow you, because you never cease to amaze me with your fresh, innovative posts, offering a spin on cliches and otherwise trite blog topics. I admit, there are many days when I lack inspiration, but you never seem to run out of new, original ideas! 🙂
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Thanks for saying that! I’m glad I come across as someone with endless ideas haha because many days I’m sitting here with nothing, which is how those “original ideas” come about.
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hahaha oh story time for adults….now that you mentioned I was wondering what happened to your fly…
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Haha the fly disappeared! For now….
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I see you are expecting a comeback from it.
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You never know!
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Hi Paul. I’m here. 😛
And I follow your blog because… It’s always light hearted. I can read your posts even when I’m tired. The same can’t be said with poems and philosophy, etc. And what I love the most about you’re blog is..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Nah, you’re not gonna get any more compliments.
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Wow. You got my hopes up for a really nice compliment, and then crushed my dreams. Haha that is something I would do though, so great comment!
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Hahaha. Yeah. This was something I would do only with you. With others I’m kinda… Polite. 😛
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Haha I’m not even offended. I’m honoured!
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Hahah, no, it wasn’t even meant to offend! With some people you’re just comfortable. You’re able fool around with them without them being offended and you being judged.
You are one of those people. 🙂
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There’s the really nice compliment I was looking for! Thanks! 🙂
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Please stop flattering the dude…he is gonna start walking all over the rest of us
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Don’t listen to him!
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Hahaha
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Hahaha, I tried not being flattering in my first comment. Then I thought nah, this guy deserves a nice little compliment!
(Don’t you go walking all over the rest of the guys, Paul!)
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Let’s hope he listens
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hahhahahaha yeah it only took one week. Oh men you really are stupid….. and really you appreciate our sense of humor….too sentimental men….too sentimental…wait what was the question???? oh why i follow your blog…I go around searching for the craziest people and pick their brains and their sense of humor…since it’s known that the crazies are the hilarious ones’….oh that was some long ass comment
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Haha us crazy people need to stick together. No one else understands our humour.
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I know
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Present sir :p Lol! Your posts are love! They never cease to make me laugh!
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Thank you. I’m glad!
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Mention not!
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*insert Michael Jackson meme eating popcorn that says ‘I’m just here to read the comments.’* totally kidding. I read your blog because it always leads to a conversation, and I like conversations. However, I never seem to do well at job fairs and the thought of attending a networking convention terrifies me. So clearly I enjoy conversations with a select group of people. And your conversations are always hilariously enlightening.
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Hahaha I don’t like networking conventions either! (Hopefully none of our future employers read this). I enjoy conversations with people who can put humour in everything they say. That’s why we get along.
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Hey Paul, I’m here, I’m here! At least I think I’m here. Yes… I’m here. No wait… I’m over there, but not to worry, I will be here in a second, just as soon as I can figure out how to get down to the comments section of your post. There… now I’m here, or is it there? Anyway, as for your question.. why do I follow your blog… well for one… people always read you first, so they have no choice but to read me second… sometimes its third… but half the time its 5,428th, but most of the time they never read me at all. However, my material is always first rate—except when its not. Uh…number two… I’m always late… therefore; I can’t possibly be your leader, so I’ve been reduced to being your follower…2nd class. This, I suppose would be more than a little bit creepy, were it not for the fact that you seem to be handling it all rather well. Has the restraining order expired yet? Just asking. But, your the best Canadian writer from Toronto who eats pizza and started the international holiday know as Looney June I’ve ever read. Also, it was always a dream of mine (ever since I was 2 hours old) to say that I was a friend of somebody who is famous and writes a blog with over 2000 followers, and although I’m still hoping to do that… I still like laughing at your blog in the meantime… I mean… laughing at the post’s in your blog while I wait for that to happen. Yes… I guess that’s about it…oh… that, and I worship your blog—ever since I learned to read Canadian on that scholarship you sent me. I went to Russia like you asked me too, and learned pig-Latin Canadian from the Siberians, and although its not pure Canadian, like the way you write, I feel when I read your post’s, I can still make out about 30% of the writing, which is not bad…eh? ;o)
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Haha oh Paul, you’ve really outdone yourself this time. This comment is a piece of art. I want to break it down topic by topic, but I feel like I would ruin its masterpiecefulness. If 30% of the words I write make sense to you, I’m a happy man…I mean Paul. I’m a happy Paul.
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LOL Yes, it is the sort of beautiful thing that sits there like ah… like ah Michelangelo or a Da Vinci, only it is disguised in its masterpiecefulness as a Warhol hanging in my bathroom, just waiting to be discovered by someone who has the time to sit there and dissect its bountifulness word by word. I am so glad that you and I are happy Paul’s and not a couple of happy Susan’s, as that would likely be… somewhat disturbing, and more than a little coincidental. Oh, and due to my new correspondence course in Canadian, my understanding of the Canadian written word is up to an all time high… 31.2%. Such microscopic leaps in Canadian could never have been possible without the expert tutelage I receive from your blog. :O)
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31.2%!!! This calls for celebration. Good thing we aren’t a couple of Susan’s, I hear they are a bit lazy. We’re a lot lazy. Also, one day very soon “Cluttered Attic” will be used in the same sentence as Da Vinci and Michelangelo.
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I take great pride in our being a lot lazy, and not just a little bit. The knockoffs of the statue of David, and my copy of the Mona Lisa that I passed off as originals have been gathering dust in those museums long enough. It’s high time I display the originals, which I have stored in my attic—publicly!
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*Raises hand*
*Clears voice*
“You see, I just like folks with a sense of humor and great writing style. I shall be waiting for my soap, Paulo”.
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Thanks! Way to speak up! The soap is for me, by the way haha
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Thanks. Yes, drinking helps to moisture the throat a bit. Ahem. Ahem.
I thought the soap was for us 😦 How sad.
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I’m the one showering! I’ll send you some soap in the mail just so you don’t feel left out.
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OK, that helps. Make sure it’s Dove.
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For sure.
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* Raises hand * Here! (or “present”, maybee?)
I also had pizza for dinner, dreamt of a pizza cone during my nap and plan on pizza for brunch.
Why? Because pizza
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Oh, and I’m present b/c your writing style and stories intrigue me. It’s rather refreshing and even inspirational
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Thank you!
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PIZZA
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Oh good! You’re back. I’ll call off the search dogs. I’m sorry if they scared you. HI PAUL! I like your blog because……pizza. Yep…pizza.
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You know how much I hate dogs chasing me! At least send the puppies next time.
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I know but it was the only way to bring you back! I’m sorry!!!
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Your persistence is appreciated. You’re forgiven blog BFF (BBFF?)
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Aww thank you Paul. BBFF for life.
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Lol. ….I Will Not Live in Vain: Present! 🙂 I follow you because I enjoy your sense of humor 🙂
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🙂 I’m glad
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Present!
And I’m here because someone said something about pizza. I’m starting to think I’m gonna walk away hungry, though.
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Call up your local pizza place and tell them Paul sent you. They’ll take care of your hunger.
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LOL, because someone said something about pizza XD
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Present and accounted for, Cap’n!
I am fairly new to your blog after seeing you on Freshly Pressed. Your posts are witty and insightful and plus, you’re a fellow Canadian, so there’s that. Looking forward to reading more!
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Always happy to find other Canadians on here!
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*waves hand wildly in air, due to shortness, not many people would notice me* Present! I always look forward to your posts in my reader because they always make me laugh. Enough that I have to explain to my whole family why I am laughing at my tablet. Then reexplain the joke. 🙂 And you’re the only looney Canadian pizza-eater I know of on WordPress, so why wouldn’t I follow you? And the hilarious dialogue in the comments is always fun to read.
Keep up the good work!
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Hahaha that’s great. The comments section for this post have gotten out of control. Thanks for reading!
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Oh ok mister, I think that seeing as I wrote an entire post on my own blog about the awesomeness of the 3 Pauls (yourself included) I don’t need to further stroke your ego in the comments section here. Amirite? You know I adore you! Xoxoxoxo M
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You’re the best. That was the ultimate compliment! You’re excused from this ego boosting exercise haha
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Lololol! 😂 I figured as much ♡♡
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I think 2012 others have already been here. I am already late. Happy blogiversary Paul. Keep the laughter coming.
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Thanks, will do!
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PRESENT. As in “I’m here,” not that I have a present for you. You’ll get nothing and like it. Well, maybe I’ll get you a cupcake or something. It’s technically not pizza. I follow you for the hilarity that gets me up every morning and puts me in a good mood. Coffee also puts me in a good mood, but coffee can’t make me laugh. I’m just kidding, coffee. I love you.
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Hahaha I will settle for a cupcake. Aha! So that’s what separates me from coffee. I make people laugh. Take that, coffee!
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I like the sense of humor and congrats on the bigger following!
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Thanks for the support!
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Don’t scare me like that, Paul! I thought you had fallen into a coma. I follow your blog because you always put a smile on my face and make me laugh 🙂
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Also, pizza is the best gift! And I expect you on my doorstep with a proper thank you, by sundown
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See, I said that knowing I would get pizza anyways and I was just greedy for other things lol. I’ll be in Alberta by tomorrow. We can eat pizza and drink maple syrup.
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Perfect! You bring the pizza, I’ll supply the syrup
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Haha thanks! Sorry for the scare!
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I’m new here, but I enjoy your humor!
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Thank you!
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Paul! I’m here!!!
Well I’m British, most of the time we’re busy being too serious to read fun things or eat pizza, that’s why I rdad your blog.
I think you’re a very talented writer. You can convey your persona through your writing extremely well.
Don’t stop blogging!!! You’re just too funny! 😂
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Haha thank you! Glad I can provide some laughs to your life.
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HERE, professor…Sir! Why do I like reading your blog? You’re entertaining, witty, and we share a similar sense of humor. Plus you’re Canadian, let’s be real, who doesn’t like a good ol’ fashion Canadian? Okay, now let’s get married.
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I thought you would never ask!
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👰🏼💍💍💍💍💍
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I’m here because pizza & because your posts are more relatable than some of the other more “serious” (everyone seems to be saying that) blogs 🙂 and pizza. Did I mention that already?
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Pizza & humour, got it!
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Oh and cuz you actually interact and engage with your readers 🙂
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🙂 It’s fun! You guys are entertaining
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I’m here! But I’m not telling you why I read your blog….You’ll just have to guess. 😛
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Because I mention pizza a lot?? haha
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Hey I’m, here glad you are too. Can’t say that I noticed you were gone but you should have seen the look of excitement on my face when I saw a new post email in my inbox. I like to read your blog because you send out great funny short story type posts all the time. I love to read but a novel can can be a bit drawn out sometimes.
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That’s kind of you to say. Makes me happy knowing people like you are excited to see a new post from me!
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I’m here! Panda Rants!
I follow you because:
1. You love pizza.
2. The How Old Robot annoys you.
3. You’re funny.
4. You’re my friend 😀
God, I missed you!!!
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🙂 I like how you’re calling me God now. Makes me feel accomplished. Haha. But seriously I’m glad pizza was #1 on your list.
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I didn’t call you God!!! Complete nutter.
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LOL way to burst my bubble.
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Three days to your Blogiversary!!!!:D
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Yes! I can’t believe it.
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I’ll get Simba. He’ll give you a big sloppy puppykiss.
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Oh, how thoughtful of Simba…
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Bwahahahahha.
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I’m here 🙂
You are entertaining. And I like to read a male’s perspective on life. Keep it up!
PS. Pizza is awesome too 🙂
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I’m happy to provide it!
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There are only a handful of blogs that I read every day. EVERY DAY. During the week there are a lot I read, but only 4-5 every.single.day. And, obviously, yours is one. You make me laugh uproariously and tear up at times( tear as in cry, not as in you make me rip things). What will happen to Barb’s blog featuring Paul? See? You’re going to have to stay awake every day long enough to find out.
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Well thank you kindly, Barb. I’m happy to hear that I don’t make you rip things up! I will make sure that Barb’s blog featuring Paul lives on. I’ve worked hard at it haha
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Yes, I’m not sure how I’m going to write on my own! ” Barb, my favorite post of yours was the one about the seating in a restaurant.” “Um, well Paul actually wrote that and I reblogged it.” “Oh, well I’m sure some of yours are funny,too, Barb.”
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Hahaha best comment ever!
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Which in a month’s time we’ll be talking and say “Remember when Paul wrote the best comment ever?”
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I’m still here. 184 blog posts and counting. Guess who?
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This comment put the biggest smile on my face. I know exactly who this is! M&M. #hotlava
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I would have been insulted if you didn’t know who it was. Then it would have been 184 and done… not really but I can leave an open-ended threat on your blog for later cause #thisblogwaspartiallymyidea
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Haha I knew who you were the second I saw your name but if I didn’t I could see your email too. Sneaky eh? This blog was partially your idea, feel free to say anything you want! And make more comments, this is fun lol
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Email security around here is about as reliable as Brock’s wifi
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Someone thought they were sending me an anonymous comment one time. And it was a comment where they disagreed with something I said…then I saw their email account and realized it was someone on my Facebook friend list haha caught them.
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They had a search party? Funny, I wasn’t invited. Though I did have a thought when I noticed my feed was void of your posts. It was something like “gosh, I hope I didn’t unfollow Paul again by accident”. And this is why I love your blog. I think of it without prompt. Congrats, friend and Woo Hoo!!
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Good to know you’re thinking of me/my blog! And you’re invited to my blogiversary party next Tuesday. You can give people makeovers when they’re not eating pizza.
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I am either imagining things, or I am repelling technology. I made a beautifully crafted comment and it is gone. Please tell me I’m hallucinating…
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Hahaha you’re hallucinating
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Cool. Thanks for confirming it. I’ll go take my Ned’s now.
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Also, yes. Makeovers. And healthy snacks. I’ll be the one carrying the allergen free foods
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Okay we’ll designate you the “responsible and health conscience adult” of the party. It’s a vital role!
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Ok. Well…I hope everyone likes hummus and foods without gluten. And lipstick.
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Yeah..this is gonna be challenging
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Challenge accepted.
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Hey Paul!
I follow your blog because… You are refreshingly funny! Plus, you write in such an easy, conversational way.
You seem like a down to earth person. And a good friend!
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Hi Amanda! So nice of you to say that!
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Because you’re an interesting read and like pizza. Congratulations..:)
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Thanks, George!
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Present, sir!
One sentence would suffice- Your blog is awesome and fun!
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Thanks!!
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Present, sir!
I’m here for the pizza!
Just kidding!
I read your blog because it makes me laugh and then my small brother looks at me laughing like a maniac while staring at the screen and calls me crazy…
Yeah, that’s what happens every time.
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Haha that’s awesome! I can just picture the maniacal laugh.
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Don’t picture it! It can be the stuff of nightmares! :p
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Funny post, Paul! Glad I checked on my favourite blogs today! Please put a tick next to my name. Your posts have always been brilliantly orchestrated. You craft them so well, and that’s why you have so many followers. Now, you’re not going to be spoilt with appreciation so… 🙂
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Thanks for your kinds words 🙂 Always happy to see you stop by. You were one of the first 100 followers on this blog if I remember correctly!
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Yup! One of your posts back then was featured on freshly pressed… That was how I discovered your blog.
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Here! Your blog gives a refreshing twist to mundane everyday events and that’s why I read it!
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Awesome! That’s why I write it.
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Sorry I’m late! I follow your blog because it’s one of the first I clicked on when using the search tag humor (or was it humour?) that actually was funny. I was also going to steal your jokes and pass them off as my own but you’ve ruined that by following my blog…
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Haha so sneaky! And smart. It’s not stealing if the other person doesn’t know you took it.
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Paul, as I’ve said in other comments (now, don’t get greedy), you stun me on a regular basis with your consistently well-written humor. It is a treat to read and I’m grateful to have stumbled upon your site. Don’t ever change, baby! Unless you want to write one crappy post to prove that you’re human. This aspiring humorist would be soothed to know that even the greatest sometimes stumble.
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That’s a great idea! Maybe I’ll write an absolutely terrible post and see what reaction I get haha. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. You’re the reason why I went back and posted the one about the elephant today. I appreciate the confidence boost!
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*raises hand* PRESENT!!!!!
Yes, I’m THAT kid.
I took a bit of a blogging hiatus as well, but it’s great to read your posts. (I’m on a bit of a Captain’s Speech binge-read.) They always make me laugh and considering the crappy month I’ve had, it’s great to be able to be distracted for awhile. Congrats on 2K, it is very well deserved!
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I was gonna say, you strike me as someone who would say “Present” and not “Here” haha. Thank you, and I’m glad my blog can be a humorous distraction for you!
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Another Hit! I’ve joined the blog bandwagon recently, and you were among the first to support me! Thank you for that! I love all of your writing, and I can’t wait to read every new post you put up! You’re hilarious, amazing, and you talk a lot about pizza; that counts for everything good in my book! 😀 Good Luck on your posts going forward! Lots of love! ❤
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Oh you’re far too kind, thank you very much! 🙂 I just re-read your introduction post and still remember it and which exact line had me hooked and made me follow your blog.
It was when you said: “I’m a YouTube-crazy perfectionist, a slightly pretentious snob, and a little more than a little strange.” I just thought that was the coolest sentence to write in an intro and knew I had to follow you haha.
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I’m here because you amuse me, and you’re also kinda cute.
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Haha you’re sweet.
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Thanks, but not really. I’m more bitter than anything.
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I actually read all of your posts… which says a lot about you because I only have a handful of bloggers that I can say that about. I like reading your posts because they are entertaining and hilarious (also educational at times like when you wrote about Canadians).
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Well thank you, I really appreciate it!
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I’m not always here, but I am. I followed you because of your centennial post, but I continue following you because you interact with your followers and I admire that. Also, you are funny, but I am sorry to tell you this… I do not like pizza as much as you do.
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Ahhhhhh you don’t!? That’s okay. As long as you enjoy my post, I can look past that haha
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Aye aye Captain!! 😛
I read your blog because of the humour, sass & sarcasm in your posts! I mean, it’s awesome. Allows me to take my life lightly for a while, give it a laugh & enjoy it as it is! 😀
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BAHAHAHAHA this post was funny and awk. Amazing. And why I’m here in the first place. Congrats!
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