Alternate Blog Names

I don’t have any children, but I’m going to speak as if I know what the thought process behind naming a child is like. Hope you don’t mind. I feel as though naming a child is a lot like naming a blog. Hear me out.

1. You don’t want anything that bullies will make fun of.

2. You want something that you won’t get tired of saying.

3. If you can find a name that can be abbreviated, that’s a bonus. It’s easier to yell out “Chris” than it is “Christopher.” Just as it’s easier to yell out “Pal” instead of “Paul”.

You get the point. Drop letters, save saliva.

When I named my blog, I didn’t really give it much thought. Up until a week before this blog went up, I had never even dreamed of having a blog.

I named my blog The Captain’s Speech because I was the captain of my intramural team in university. I thought it would be funny – and motivational – to give speeches to my team before our games. We would huddle up and I’d unleash words from my mouth.

I’m a big fan of huddles. If I smell, there are up to ten other people around me I can blame.

I never really said The Captain’s Speech out loud. A few weeks ago, I did. Just to hear what it sounded like. Then I realized the “s” at the end of “Captain’s” and the “s” at the start of “Speech”, rub together and make a teapot sound.

Like THIS

Or maybe it’ssss jusssst the way I talk, eh?

The current tagline of my blog is an original quote: “If you can’t knock their socks off, they’re already barefoot.”

I think I know what it means. Ha, I should know what it means. I created it.

Basically, if you’re trying to knock someone’s socks off, you’re trying to impress them. However, if they’re already barefoot, that means one of two things:

1. They are already impressed, before you even tried.
2. Nothing you do will ever impress them.

In simpler terms: “Do your best; results may vary.”

I think.

The Captain’s Speech was the only name I had in mind. It took me a while to think of it, but it had no competition.

This got me thinking. What else would I name my blog? And what would their taglines be?

Without further ado, I present to you – alternate blog names and taglines with explanations.

1. The Top Of The Muffin – Be the best, forget the rest.

If you think the bottom of a muffin tastes just as good as the top, comment below so I can yell at you. There is absolutely no way.

The top of the muffin is where it’s at. The bottom is just there to be the base. Some would even say the bottom of the muffin is just working it’s 9-5 job hoping to one day move up the corporate muffin ladder.

2. Pizza On Board – With pizza.

When talking about pizza, you don’t need to say too much. “Pizza On Board” is a rip off of “Baby On Board”, while “With Pizza” is a rip off of “With Child”. Basically my blog is my food baby.

3. My Mom Thinks I’m Funny – Who writes your material?

This one is self-explanatory. My Mom thinks I’m funny. And she always asks me “Who writes your material?” whenever I say something funny. I’m hilarious. Laugh.

4. Say When – Who? What? Where? ___? Why?

If I’m pouring a family member a drink, I don’t know how much they want. Do they want a full glass, or just half? So I’ll say: “Say when.” I keep pouring until they utter, “When.” My family is trained. If they say anything else, I’ll keep pouring until the glass is overflowing. So will everyone else in my family, actually.

You guys should try this!

5. LMNOP – L-M-N-O-P, easy as 1-2-3, as simple as come feed me, L-M-N-O-P, 1-2-3.

Don’t lie, that tagline is catchy. LMNOP are five consecutive letters in the alphabet. They are fun to say. I like letters. Have I dumbed this down enough? They don’t stand for anything, though I can make them.

Legs, Meet Nose Over Pants – Sounds like I’m sniffing myself.

Laugh More Now Over Pizza – Don’t choke.

6. Unlabelled – Open the box and find out for yourself.

Who I am is revealed one blog post at a time.

Also, I’m a firm believer that life is not like a box of chocolates. A box of chocolates has labels on its packaging. They must. Therefore, if you read the label, you know exactly what you’re going to get.

Therefore, an unlabelled box is truly full of surprises.

Life is like an unlabelled box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get. I hope you’re not allergic.

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I don’t think I’ll ever change the name of my blog for as long as I have it. I like it too much.

The Captain’s Speech.

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Play at home! What alternate blog name and tagline would you choose for your blog?