Alternate Blog Names

I don’t have any children, but I’m going to speak as if I know what the thought process behind naming a child is like. Hope you don’t mind. I feel as though naming a child is a lot like naming a blog. Hear me out.

1. You don’t want anything that bullies will make fun of.

2. You want something that you won’t get tired of saying.

3. If you can find a name that can be abbreviated, that’s a bonus. It’s easier to yell out “Chris” than it is “Christopher.” Just as it’s easier to yell out “Pal” instead of “Paul”.

You get the point. Drop letters, save saliva.

When I named my blog, I didn’t really give it much thought. Up until a week before this blog went up, I had never even dreamed of having a blog.

I named my blog The Captain’s Speech because I was the captain of my intramural team in university. I thought it would be funny – and motivational – to give speeches to my team before our games. We would huddle up and I’d unleash words from my mouth.

I’m a big fan of huddles. If I smell, there are up to ten other people around me I can blame.

I never really said The Captain’s Speech out loud. A few weeks ago, I did. Just to hear what it sounded like. Then I realized the “s” at the end of “Captain’s” and the “s” at the start of “Speech”, rub together and make a teapot sound.

Like THIS

Or maybe it’ssss jusssst the way I talk, eh?

The current tagline of my blog is an original quote: “If you can’t knock their socks off, they’re already barefoot.”

I think I know what it means. Ha, I should know what it means. I created it.

Basically, if you’re trying to knock someone’s socks off, you’re trying to impress them. However, if they’re already barefoot, that means one of two things:

1. They are already impressed, before you even tried.
2. Nothing you do will ever impress them.

In simpler terms: “Do your best; results may vary.”

I think.

The Captain’s Speech was the only name I had in mind. It took me a while to think of it, but it had no competition.

This got me thinking. What else would I name my blog? And what would their taglines be?

Without further ado, I present to you – alternate blog names and taglines with explanations.

1. The Top Of The Muffin – Be the best, forget the rest.

If you think the bottom of a muffin tastes just as good as the top, comment below so I can yell at you. There is absolutely no way.

The top of the muffin is where it’s at. The bottom is just there to be the base. Some would even say the bottom of the muffin is just working it’s 9-5 job hoping to one day move up the corporate muffin ladder.

2. Pizza On Board – With pizza.

When talking about pizza, you don’t need to say too much. “Pizza On Board” is a rip off of “Baby On Board”, while “With Pizza” is a rip off of “With Child”. Basically my blog is my food baby.

3. My Mom Thinks I’m Funny – Who writes your material?

This one is self-explanatory. My Mom thinks I’m funny. And she always asks me “Who writes your material?” whenever I say something funny. I’m hilarious. Laugh.

4. Say When – Who? What? Where? ___? Why?

If I’m pouring a family member a drink, I don’t know how much they want. Do they want a full glass, or just half? So I’ll say: “Say when.” I keep pouring until they utter, “When.” My family is trained. If they say anything else, I’ll keep pouring until the glass is overflowing. So will everyone else in my family, actually.

You guys should try this!

5. LMNOP – L-M-N-O-P, easy as 1-2-3, as simple as come feed me, L-M-N-O-P, 1-2-3.

Don’t lie, that tagline is catchy. LMNOP are five consecutive letters in the alphabet. They are fun to say. I like letters. Have I dumbed this down enough? They don’t stand for anything, though I can make them.

Legs, Meet Nose Over Pants – Sounds like I’m sniffing myself.

Laugh More Now Over Pizza – Don’t choke.

6. Unlabelled – Open the box and find out for yourself.

Who I am is revealed one blog post at a time.

Also, I’m a firm believer that life is not like a box of chocolates. A box of chocolates has labels on its packaging. They must. Therefore, if you read the label, you know exactly what you’re going to get.

Therefore, an unlabelled box is truly full of surprises.

Life is like an unlabelled box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get. I hope you’re not allergic.


I don’t think I’ll ever change the name of my blog for as long as I have it. I like it too much.

The Captain’s Speech.


Play at home! What alternate blog name and tagline would you choose for your blog?

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About Paul

This is the part where I'm supposed to write something interesting about myself and you'll read it and think, "That's not that interesting." So let's not do that and just think about pizza instead, on the count of three. One, two, three. Donuts. Now, wasn't that interesting?
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81 Responses to Alternate Blog Names

  1. datingflops says:

    I don’t think I would rename my blog, it currently embodies my dating status – flops. It took me a while to come up with this name, maybe I jinxed myself? But ultimately I named it this to write about all the bad experiences out there. And let others they weren’t alone in their dating struggles.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Paul says:

      That makes sense. It fits the theme of your posts perfectly. (And no you didn’t jinx yourself!). Whereas with my blog, my posts are all over the place, so the name can really just be anything…though I’ll never change it.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. izza ifzaal says:

    heheheh! you earned a good laugh here pal 😛
    I ll name my blog “Unapologetically myself ” and tagline would be “if you can’t learn from life observed,you just might have the brain of a bird” 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Suri says:

    Well.. This may sound lame. But I’ve named my blog ‘TwinkleSpark’ ‘coz many years back I used to play a game called ‘Disney Fairies’ wherein I had a username – Stella Twinklespark. I really liked that name. And anyways, It sounds sparkly so I kept it. 😛
    By the way, awesome post. Cool way to think about blog names.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. shubhada says:

    Hahah, corporate muffin ladder – you totally killed it! And as for my blog name I really didn’t think at all while naming it. I just wrote the reason for starting a blog, and luckily someone else hadn’t yet used it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Issa says:

    I have been thinking of renaming my blog and so far I have just this… Gooey Shit – Works well with bread.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This is very interesting Paul! I’d like to think that when I’m better, I would change my blog name… or at least the subheading. Not sure to what, though…

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Little Rants says:

    I would choose maybe The Twisted Cousin – I’m the crazy one in my giant family. No wait. I’d pick Bohemian Crapsody. ‘Nuff said.

    Liked by 4 people

  8. heymeghan91 says:

    Feel free to yell at me…. Now I want a muffin.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Squidtea says:

    I would probably change it to Ink Life or something, because my nickname is Squid and I like to write. (Going old-fashioned here)

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Donnarie says:

    Loved this post! You’re right, naming a blog is like naming a child! I think there is more pressure to think of a great blog name than child name (yeah that’s the kind of world we live in). 🙂

    I’d definitely keep Practically An Adult, but honestly, the tagline should be: A middle schoolers sick sense of humor trapped in an adult’s body.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Amy says:

    I like your blog name and got a chuckle out of your alternate list.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. My Homesick Fix says:

    I think the worst feeling about naming a blog would be if others don’t really understand why you named your blog what you did or what it is supposed to mean. It would definitely be disheartening because I think a name embodies the heart and essence of the blog.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Alexandra says:

    Perfect timing, as I’ve been thinking about renaming my blog for a while now. The current name came to me quickly and I am happy with it, as it perfectly describes the concept of my writing. However, I started thinking that it sounds too pretentious, too long and overly complicated and that ‘bewonderments’ is not even a real word…
    What is your professional opinion?
    Your idea of naming it “My mom thinks I’m funny” really made me giggle 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      I don’t think it’s too long; I think it’s unique. And the internet says bewonderments is a word! But if you do change the name, make sure you really like the name you’re changing it to. You don’t wanna look back in a month and wish you had your old blog name back.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. DoesItEvenMatterWhoIAm? says:

    I love that I now know why you named you blog thusly (I know that is not a proper grammatical phrasing, but my migraine brain refuses to allow me to properly articulate my thoughts today, and I keep making up words because I cannot find the right ones to use).

    ALL of your alternates are hilarious! Also, when I was a tot, I painted a tree for my parents and when they asked me what it was called, I evidently told them it was an “LMNOP” tree! That series of letters does have such a lovely flow to it.

    This entire post made me burst into laughter at several points, and your little video clip was a perfect selection. I hope to make my way to Canada (I call it Canaydia, I hope you don’t mind) and sit down for a sandwich or pizza with you sometime! Oregon isn’t too terribly far from Canada… plus my son and you could swap some silly jokes! And my hubby is itching to mountain bike the trails up there!

    Oh and it took me about 2 seconds to just name my blog. I didn’t give it any thought at all. It took me 7 months to name my boy. Sebastian Daniel. I am quite glad I took my time on that one!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      LMNOP tree! ahahahaha! That trip to Canaydia and a sandwich/pizza sounds great! Your son and I would be best friends in 3 seconds. Though I’m pretty sure Oregon is near the complete opposite part of Canaydia where I live….

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Cecilia says:

    Naming a blog is quite a thing, and not easy done, well not for me it was.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. garym6059 says:

    With my current situation and legal woes because of blogging I think I might switch it to EX-WIFE WENT CRAY CRAY

    Liked by 2 people

  17. rebbit7 says:

    The top of the muffin is ALWAYS the best! I currently like my blog name, but if I were to change it, it would involve something with penguins, pasta, and pastries (all of which I love- alliteration, much?).

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Mindy says:

    As creative as I think I am, I couldn’t think of an alternate blog title if you paid me. People are so strange that “Yellow.Fever” is the only thing that seemed right!

    Liked by 2 people

  19. I sought no advise when it came to naming my blog (Hey Paul, what do you mean you could tell?), it just kind of fell out of my head. I don’t always refer to it in its complete form though (In My Cluttered Attic—shameless promotion), sometimes I’ll just refer to it as “The Attic.” But, if I were to go looking for an alternate blog name, my wife assures me I couldn’t find one up there anyway. I think she means—I’m doomed to roam the cluttered blog landscape with the name I have. ;o)

    Liked by 2 people

  20. amorefado says:

    I like your name too, for the record. That link is exactly what I sound like when saying your name out loud LOL!!!! Excellent reference. My name and tagline just flew out of my mouth when I first started the blog and it stuck.

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Barb Knowles says:

    Hahaha, this is a shoulder-shaking, laughter bubbling up and exploding out, kind of a post! I didn’t realize that I said “The Captain’s Speech” out loud until my husband asked “What are you doing?” Which just made me laugh again.😂 But I didn’t look as maniacal as that yellow face. I hope. The sssssss ‘s, which autocorrected to assassin, and the YouTube clip were hysterical. #3 and #6 are my favorite s. #6 is truly you, I imagine. And I totally relate to #3.

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Legs, Meet Nose Over Pants – Sounds like I’m sniffing myself. hahahahah!

    Not sure what I’d name my blog. I’m pretty sucky, and not creative in that aspect. I just have to admire all your names. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Mon says:

    Yesterday, I renamed my blog to “Transcend” because it reflected more on who I was than simply “Life of Mon”. I think I will keep experimenting with names

    Liked by 2 people

  24. December McIntyre says:

    Unlabeled boxes of chocolates are the worst. I only buy boxes of chocolate that include the “chocolate map” inside.

    Liked by 2 people

  25. hmekeel says:

    Aye, there’s the rub, I mean muffin. Honestly, the top of the muffin is a great title to me! I kind of wish I had thought of it. My blog is just my name because I wanted a personal website to display my writing, and that seemed good enough. If I ever think of a good name (which is waaaay harder than writing posts themselves) I’ll change it!

    Liked by 2 people

  26. Glad you stuck with the one you have now. Suits you perfectly!

    Liked by 2 people

  27. Liz says:

    I don’t think I could top Inspector Gorgeous…
    I like it because it sounds like “Inspector Gadget” which was one of my favorite shows as a kid.
    Also, I realized that I wasn’t following you anymore so I searched you out because it’s some of my favorite reading of the day. Is this some sort of wordpress glitch? I was outraged. You are now being followed by me, again.
    Toodles.

    Liked by 2 people

  28. Jessie Reyna says:

    Nothing more horrible than biting into a piece of chocolate to have the raspberry malt liquor/cream just spill out into your mouth. Unless you’re into that sort of thing……………

    Liked by 1 person

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