Paulo’s Kitchen: Soup

Ever think of something to write about…and then you actually have to start typing…at which point you realize that it could be an unmitigated disaster? Well, this could be one of those posts. You’ve been warned.

Hello, bonjour, bonjourno, hola, and ‘sup, fellow food eaters! Today my name is Paulo. Step into my kitchen!

Yeah. This has disaster written all over it.

I always like reading food blogs. Actually, I do more looking than reading. The pictures hypnotize me. About seven minutes ago I had this great idea to write a post telling all of you how to make food. A post where I would give step-by-step instructions.

Thus, Paulo’s Kitchen was born.

We’ll get through this together, I hope.

Today’s food is: Soup

Ooooooohhhaaaaaaaaahhh

We’re going to make some classic – and quick – Italian soup. Just like Nonna makes.

Step 1: Make sure there is already some broth in the fridge. (If there is no broth, make yourself some cereal and wait until someone in your family makes broth. Yeah, broth is kinda a prerequisite for this meal.)

Step 2: Assuming there is broth in the fridge, take it out of the fridge.

Step 3: Pull a pot out of the cabinet. A small one will suffice, you aren’t feeding a village. (You don’t have enough broth to feed a village.)

Step 4: Find a ladle (that’s kitchenspeak for “really big spoon”) and proceed to transfer about three to four ladles of broth into the pot. (The broth was sitting in a container waiting for you to ladle it.)

Step 5: Place the pot on the stove and turn up the heat to whatever the really hot setting is on your stove. Feel free to put a lid on the pot.

Step 6: Put the extra broth back in the fridge for later and go find soup noodles in the cupboard. (Today we’re using soup noodles that are in the shape of stars. They are very small.)

Step 7: Whip out your phone and kill time until the broth starts to boil. (This could take anywhere from five minutes to an eternity.)

Step 8: Take the lid off the pot when it starts to boil and pour soup noodles into the pot. Lower the temperature. How much? A bit. (Keep pouring the noodles until you think there are enough.)

Step 9: Grab a spoon and stir the soup noodles so they don’t stick to the pot. (Hmm, maybe we should’ve buttered the pot first to prevent stickage?)

Step 10: Depending on the noodle, it will either be a quick cook, or a slow one. In the meantime, put a bowl at your spot and grab the parmesan cheese in the fridge.

Step 11: Become impatient.

Step 12: Stir the soup again to look productive.

Step 13: Put some noodles on a spoon and taste to see if they are done to you’re liking. (Blow on it first or you’ll burn your tongue and end up in the hospital and won’t be able to speak for three days. Or you can be a daredevil; have an ambulance ice cube standing by.)

Step 14: When you think the soup is done, turn off the stove.

Step 15: Pick up the pot, grab the ladle, and pour the soup into your bowl. DON’T SPILL IT.

Step 16: There will be some noodles that hang on for dear life and won’t separate themselves from the pot. It’s like a kid on the first day of kindergarten. Pry those noodles free.

We have a No Noodle Left Behind policy here in Paulo’s Kitchen.

Step 17: Sprinkle some parmesan cheese into the soup. This isn’t optional.

Step 18: Eat the soup.

And there you have it, kids! Some seasoned water with extremely small noodles Soup! Hope you’re full!

There are no pictures. Just follow my instructions and you can’t go wrong.

Paulo’s Kitchen may or may not be picked up for a second post. We’ll see. Stay tuned. And stay hungry!