Stuck On The Subway

Y’all know what a subway is, right? The train that runs underground and causes a big gust of wind when it pulls into the station. Yeah, that. Not the sandwich place. I was not stuck on a sandwich. Get your mind out of the bun.

As the title of this post suggests, I was stuck on a subway. Yesterday at 9:30pm, to be precise.

I was coming home from a lacrosse game downtown, when all of a sudden it happened. The train stopped. The lights went out. The robotic voice came over the speaker system.

“We have lost power.” We what?

I exchanged a look of raised eyebrows with the lady next to me. Her eyebrows went higher than mine. I guess she was more surprised.

Panic immediately set in.

I thought, this is how I die. On a subway, underground, with no phone reception, no food, no washroom, and no idea if Looney June will be a success. Yes, this is what I thought about.

I started to sweat. The people around me started to sweat. A man ran back and forth, frantically waving his arms. The power was out, the lights were off, and the air conditioning was gone. I was in a crowded sweat box with people who smelled like last week.

How long are we going to be here? Who will save us? Where’s Ronald McDonald when you need him?

All valid questions.

Then my survivor instincts started to kick in. If we’re going to be here a while, we’re going to need food. I need to find the people who have food and become their friend. Because if someone asks for everyone to pool all the food together into one pile, no one will go for it.

Survival of the fittest, kids.

I scouted out people with large bags and told myself that in one hour I would get up and go sit next to them. Any sooner and they’d know I wanted more than to just “keep them company.”

I was also wondering when would be a good time to talk about the washroom situation. It amazes me that there isn’t a washroom on the subway. We are underground. That is basically the same thing as being up in the sky on an airplane. Airplanes have washrooms.

Within three hours we would have to address the issue. We would have to designate some sort of “relief corner” at one end of the train.

Now, this subway was one of the new ones. Which means it was just one long train. You could walk from one end to the other. It wasn’t divided into different cars. (I think that’s the term.)

Perhaps someone would give up their backpack so we could use it as a toilet. All for one, one for Paul all, right?

I was running through all of these thoughts in my head, while others were probably doing the same thing. We needed a leader. This was the subway apocalypse. We needed a leader to lay down the law.

A subtatorship, if you will.

As the minutes ticked by, we were still without power. With every passing second, my plan to move next to people with food was getting closer to fruition.

And then it happened. The lights turned back on. No one cheered. I think most of us thought it was the light you see when you’re about to die. Talk about anti-climactic.

Then God the robot voice came on the speaker: We have restored power.

We were saved.

I didn’t have to pretend to be nice to strangers, just to get three crackers from them.

We didn’t have to create a “relief corner” or sacrifice someone’s backpack.

The lady beside me could finally put her eyebrows down. At ease, soldier!

Everything was going to be okay.

Alright, so I may have over-exaggerated everything. However, almost all of these thoughts did run through my mind, initially! I guess I watch too many TV shows. 

In reality, the train was stuck for ten minutes. We were parked at a station. The doors were open, half the lights were on, but eyebrows were still raised. I put earbuds in and listened to music because I’m a millennial, while the older people around me stared at me, thinking I was asleep because I was looking down at the songs on my iPod. True story.

Not even a day has gone by and I’ve already overblown this story. I can only imagine how I’ll tell this story in 25 years. 

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About Paul

This is the part where I'm supposed to write something interesting about myself and you'll read it and think, "That's not that interesting." So let's not do that and just think about pizza instead, on the count of three. One, two, three. Donuts. Now, wasn't that interesting?
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60 Responses to Stuck On The Subway

  1. grammyg53 says:

    I have been waiting for the perfect opportunity to, as the Queen of Twits, induct you into my kingdom. Well, now you have gone & done it soldier. You are OFFICIALLY dubbed the Canadian Diplomat to the Kingdom of Twit.

    And no need to worry. Should you find yourself incapacitated or otherwise distracted, we will hold onto the plan for Looney June. Pizza and all. Pizza for EVERYONE!!!

    You twit.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Barb Knowles says:

    Good one haha! Why didn’t you think of pizza? Are you sure you weren’t the guy running around flailing his arms while screaming 36 HOURS UNTIL LOONEY JUNE!! 36 HOURS UNTIL LOONEY JUNE!!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      I’m not sure why I didn’t think of pizza! I would’ve probably cried if I did. They don’t deliver pizzas to underground trains. I might’ve been the guy running around shhhh….

      Liked by 1 person

      • Barb Knowles says:

        Haha That is a horrible feeling though. I was stuck on a subway once at night. It was only for a little while, but I kept thinking about the air conditioning. You’re right… I laughed out loud. 😂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Do you actually think you will have ONLY this train story to tell in 25 years? I suspect that if you remain in that area for the next 25 years you will have lots more “stuck on the train” stories. Perhaps the next time it happens, (and there’s a very good possibility of a next time) you will think of pizza while running around the car flailing your arms with raised eyebrows a backpack full of human waste and an empty grocery bag. (:

    Liked by 1 person

  4. rebbit7 says:

    Great post! Very entertaining. I can relate, as I have been stuck inside the subway before. It’s a nerve-wracking feeling, even claustrophobic when there’s so many people stuck around you. It gets hot down there, and that’s not a good feeling…

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      It sure isn’t. Last night it wasn’t too crowded and I had a seat which was good. I hate it when the subway is just crammed with people and it feels like you’re standing in a closet because you can’t move.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. anxietybug88 says:

    I’ve been stuck on the tube in London, once. I can’t say there was any arm-flailing or thoughts of “relief corners.” I’m pretty sure Londoners are used to it. Happens a lot, they say. But I’ve learned some valuable life lessons from this post on how to make friends with the people who have food. If it comes to cannibalism, I’m safe. I only weight 89 lbs. I’ll be the last to be eaten. Unless I’m the last one eating people. Then it’ll be like some horrible Hannibal-themed Survivor competition show. Well, as long as I win.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Paul says:

      Haha glad you learned something from this! It’s survival of the fittest in these situation. I’m sure others won’t see you as a threat and will overlook you until you’re one of the last one’s standing.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. funsized1988 says:

    I preferred the over-exaggerated version 😜

    Liked by 2 people

  7. George says:

    Ten minutes on a crowded subway train can feel like a claustrophobic panic attack. You can’t overblow that too much.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. moxieluster says:

    I was scared there for a bit and then started laughing. Glad it was not as dramatic as it could have been. I have never been on a train..or even a plane.. and not even a subway. I imagine if it was me though, I would of had a panic attack.

    6pm Here, 6 more hours until Looney June. Yay! 😘

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Liz says:

    Can I be the oddball and ask what we are all probably thinking? Ok, I will. You still have an iPod? Is it new? Do you even sell them anymore? Gosh, I thought since the iPhone emerged, iPods became a thing of the past. Now I regret selling my iPod! Sheesh.

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Little Rants says:

    You’re funny. As eff. “Get your mind out of the bun” lol!

    I can’t wait to hear this story in 25 years now 😛

    Also, thank the Robot Voice that our Panda is safe! Loony June is on, yay!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. markbialczak says:

    You were ready with your yellow and red cards if somebody else got too close to those food baggers first, weren’t you, Paul?

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Frederick says:

    Wagons. I believe the term is wagons. Anyway, dramatizing stories always make them so much better! This was hilarious, Paul!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. farasamarasa says:

    👏👏👏👏👏

    Liked by 1 person

  14. shubhada says:

    Hahahahaha. This was hilarious. You would have had to sacrifice your bag, if the situation would have arisen. Afterall a ‘captain’ is the one who makes the greatest sacrifices. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Issa says:

    You were stuck in a sandwich dude

    Liked by 1 person

  16. All I could think was that mostly everything you said was what I do in such anxiety inducing situations. You make me laugh

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Thoroughly enjoyed this! 🙂 Thanks for the post

    Liked by 1 person

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