In Your Dreams

Sleeping is a bit weird, isn’t it? I mean, we just lie there for hours like a sack of potatoes. If we’re feeling dangerous, maybe we’ll roll over, or drool, or fall off the bed, or start talking, or go for a walk near the staircase.

We’re daredevils.

Everyone sleeps. Yes, even me. Apparently people can’t function without sleep. As in, it’s impossible to be awake every single second, of every single day of your life. How crazy is that?

Quick, somebody get the stat telling me how many years of our lives we spend asleep.

I’m not complaining, I’m just saying it to get a reaction. Are you reacting?

People have about the same battery life as cell phones. Imagine if people were solar powered? Oh man. We wouldn’t have all these hateful comments on the Internet because the people who post them sit in a dark basement where their computer screen is the only light source.


In university I had the reputation of not sleeping. Well, when else was I going to do all of my assignments and study for exams? During the day? At night when sports were on TV? Ha, fat chance.

Sorry, plus size chance. Gotta be politically correct. Though isn’t “plus size” offensive too? 

I went some weeks with about twelve hours of sleep, total. My eyes had a burning sensation for five days, yet I did my best work. There’s something exhilarating about pulling an all-nighter and then walking to class feeling like a zombie. It’s almost like a badge of honour.

You can’t defeat me that easily, school.

During one of my weeks of very little sleep, something strange happened. I was sitting at my desk staring at my laptop and I’m pretty sure I fell asleep with my eyes open. I sat there and even had a dream. Not as in I have a dream…, but as in, I’m asleep.

Then I snapped out of it and woke up. However, the dream I had felt so real that I thought it was an actual event that took place in my life. Like it was a memory that I recalled and looked back on and thought: Yeah, good times.

That is how out of it I was. I fell asleep with my eyes open, had a dream, woke up, and then believed the dream to be a real life event.

Don’t try this at home, y’all.

Every time I have a dream, my mind is blown. I have at least one dream every single night and each one is like an improvised comedy show. The weird thing is, when I have a dream, I recognize that it’s a dream. If that makes sense.

It’s like half my brain is following the dream and the other half is like an impatient 10-year-old in a long car ride asking, “Are we there yet?”

My dreams seem to be a compilation of things I come across in my daily life that I only think about for one second. Those one second thoughts – of people, places, food, etc. – seem to be deposited in the same part of my brain and create a story for when I fall asleep.

Deep, I know.

The best dreams aren’t long enough and the worst ones go on forever.

Falling asleep, in the first place, can be hard. We just lie there planning out different scenarios in our head that will never come true. And then we realize these scenarios won’t happen and we get down on ourselves and feel so alone as we lie there like a sack of potatoes. Just me? Cool.

Also, sometimes I feel like I’m falling. Other people experience this too, I’m sure.

What baffles me is that one second we’re awake, and the next we’re asleep – basically unconscious. We don’t experience it happening, it just happens. I wish I could have a countdown clock in my head so I could count along: 3…2…1…SLEEP.

When I was younger, apparently I sleep walked a few times. How scary is that? If I tumbled down the stairs, how far down before I would “wake up” and realize I’m a human bowling ball? I’m thinking by step number five.

Also, I can remember a couple of times where I woke up and was yelling at someone. Not anyone sleeping next to me, but just a person in general.

Or sometimes I woke up in the middle of the night and my pillow was missing. Where was it? The other side of the room. Pillow fights with walls are underrated, okay.

At this point of the post I thought I was going to get into a rant about twin size beds, but I’ll save that for another day.

Instead, I’ll remind you that in your lifetime, you will eat about eight spiders while you’re asleep!

Don’t worry, Google says it’s a myth. Google is always right.

I said, don’t worry! Why’s everyone grabbing pitch forks and folded magazines?

Oh right, there’s a convention in town.

Anyways, goodnight, and I’ll see you next time…

…or in your dreams.

Note: If I do appear in one of your dreams, please comment below so I can have a good laugh. 

About Paul

I think of my blog as an all-you-can-read buffet. There's something for everyone and complimentary mints at the door as you leave.
This entry was posted in Life and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

66 Responses to In Your Dreams

  1. Little Rants says:

    Been YEARS since your last post!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Little Rants says:

    Orange Jumpsuits!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Mon says:

    Haha. “In your dreams” 😀 Honestly. sleep seems like a temporary death to me where I am still breathing……I like to compare it with death haha

    Liked by 1 person

  4. shubhada says:

    Can’t wait for a post about twin size beds! 😛
    By the way, I nominated you for an award. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dream it Alive says:

    Seeking an out of body experience….just sleep! You’re nearly dead, your mind creates odd scenarios aka dreams. Your body is very vulnerable, And…. this is the best part… you may or may not feel more energized and restored when you awake! **This is different for everybody, please do not write us back. If someone wakes, harms, or plays a prank on you we are not responsible. **

    Liked by 1 person

  6. paigetheresa says:

    I love this! I almost never remember my dreams, the only ones I ever remember are the ones where I’m smack in the middle of a horror flick or Criminal Minds episode. I have definitely experienced the pillow thing, though – those damn walls, always talking back 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  7. LOL. I for one don’t really like to sleep. In my 20s I could go on for days without it, and without the aid of caffeine. I am thankful I am able to sleep now when needed because everything comes alive when I sleep, yes even the vampires in my dream.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Mindy says:

    Oh, the spiders! It is a myth and I will always believe that. For my sake, of course.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. rebbit7 says:

    Ah, the college years definitely throw the sleep cycle off for many students! I try to sleep and wake up at regular hours, but sometimes I either can’t sleep or I can’t afford to, because of paper deadlines due that very morning. Really, it’s a struggle…

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Barb Knowles says:

    1. I’ve woken up with spider bites across my face. Like I was a midnight snack as he walked. GROSS. And it’s happened more than once. I think I’m allergic. So hopefully I haven’t swallowed any.
    2. In college, I would fall asleep with my eyes open and scare my roommate half to death. Tim falls asleep before I do, so I don’t know if I now sleep with my eyes open or not. I hope not.
    3. From college through my kids’ “being little kids” era, I always wished that for me, a day would be 27 hours long. Everyone else would have 24, but I’d have an extra 3 hours to do what I wanted. It would have made a good Twilight Zone episode, I think.
    4. And as I was thinking “I’ve read the statistics about how much time the average person sleep in their lifetime” as I read the next sentence…….haha


  11. hmekeel says:

    I woke up this morning with a note on my phone where I had written down a dream I had in the middle of the night. It’s completely incoherent, but I remember waking up laughing hysterically at my own brain’s comedy show. Weird stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. BookwormwithOpinions says:

    GOOGLE IS ALWAYS RIGHT?! Never knew you were a conformist. Just kidding.
    I nominated you for an award:

    Best of dreams,

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Google is never right! I will not conform! haha.
      Thank you for the award! But I think I’m going to respectfully decline. Taking a little break from awards for now. I do appreciate it though! By the way, Eau de Sarcasm is a great scent!

      Liked by 1 person

      • BookwormwithOpinions says:

        Right, thank you, I love the scent as well!! No problem, it does get tiring to write about awards after a while.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Funny! My husband doesn’t know how I do this, but we get in bed to watch tv and he always asks about 2 minutes later “asleep yet?” Because he is amazed at how quick I zonk out and is actually kind of jealous. Easy, I’m a mom and up early. 10pm/11pm it’s late for me. zonk. then I might snort/snore that will vibrate my nose and wake me. 🙂 That is so weird that we’re JUST ASLEEP without feeling it happen, yet we can feel ourselves slowly waking.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. FridgeRunner says:

    “I’m not complaining, I’m just saying it to get a reaction. Are you reacting?”

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Meg says:

    OK I know I’m commenting years later again…leave me be.
    Anyway, yes, I did have a dream with you in it. I met you in person. But it turned out you were an od guy with a full beard, potbelly, and a rubber chicken clenched in one fist. Don’t ask me why; I’m as confused as you are.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.