People Are Gross

Yeah, I’m talking about you. And you. And you. And you in the back who thinks I don’t see them. And you. You. You. You. And you. Especially you. And you. And you. And me.

It starts when we’re little; we have the urge to touch everything and then put our fingers in our mouth. Were we that desperate for food? Probably not. We probably just thought our fingers were chicken fingers or potato wedges. You’ll never know unless you try, right?

But seriously, remember your Doctor’s appointments when you were little? I do. Vividly. The waiting room is a cesspool for germs. A bunch of toys everywhere, with at least two snotty kids touching each one before running off to look at the fish in the fish tank.

Ahhhh look at the fishy! Look at it! Mom, I said look at it! I see it, honey. Sooo cool. It’s amazing that the fish aren’t drowning. Let me touch the side of the tank and leave my finger prints and germs on it for the next kid to pick up and put in his mouth. Mmm germs. Hey, why is that kid stealing my toy? Hey, you with the cough!

I hated going to the Doctor’s office. Sure, I would get some banana medicine by the end of it, which tasted amazing, but I always felt like I would get sicker just being in the company of other sick children.

Some of us grow up and learn how not to be gross, while others remain that snotty child at the Doctor’s office who touches everything and then tastes it.

There are gross individuals among us.

It’s true.

Every time you go on a subway or bus and you have to stand and hold a pole for balance, tell me you don’t think about all the germs that are transferring from that pole to your hand. You don’t know who’s touched it.

Ten minutes before you got on, a guy could’ve sneezed in his hands while the bus was stopped and then quickly grabbed the pole when it started to move.

Congratulations, you have the insides of his nose on your hand.

I wouldn’t call myself a germaphobe because I think we’re all germaphobes, to an extent. Am I going to think twice before I touch a door handle? No. Some people would. We each have different tolerance levels.

Here’s a question, why is it that we’ve all witnessed someone go to the washroom and leave without washing their hands? You know how I know this? Because when the topic is discussed, I haven’t heard anyone ever chime in with “Oh, do people really do that? I’ve never seen it.” Not once.

And I’m not talking about people who go in the washroom to look in the mirror for three seconds and then leave. If they don’t wash their hands, I guess that’s fine. What did they really touch?

So, if you’ve never seen someone leave a washroom without washing their hands, you’re either really lucky, in denial, or you’re the person who does it.

I’m amazed by this when I see it. You would think people in a public washroom would be on their best behaviour. You would think they would at least go through the motion of washing their hands so they don’t stand out. Nope. They do their thing and then straight out the door, like their headed to jail in Monopoly.

Advance to the exit. Do NOT pass GO the sink. Go straight to the exit.

Unreal. And it’s not like we can call the person out on it, right? At least in a men’s washroom we can’t. That would break the code. There is no talking in a men’s washroom. Heck, there isn’t even eye contact. There are also no cell phones in sight. You could hold a yoga session in there it’s that quiet.

I don’t know what the noise volume of a women’s washroom is, but Facebook tells me that it is commonplace to take your phone out and take pictures of a mirror.

Oh, I really like how this mirror reflects things. Let me take a picture so I remember it.

That’s the thought process, right?

Public washrooms even try to help gross people. Those automatic flush toilets prevent us from having to touch a lever that is covered in who knows what. Aren’t we fortunate? Yes, until the automatic flush toilet goes on strike, that is.

Then we flash back a decade to a time when automatic toilets weren’t everywhere and people refused to flush. Who do you think you are leaving your stuff there?

Anyone gagging?

Thankfully, when an automatic toilet works, it really works. It’s like the Magic Bullet of toilets. It’s like a minor tremor. Did you feel that?

What about the inside of stall doors? This one fascinates me. Sometimes there will be writing on them.

Think of the thought process behind it. Someone enters the washroom, goes into the stall, and while they’re doing their thing, they whip out a pen/pencil/permanent marker and decide to write a few lines on the door.

What? Who carries a permanent marker with them? Those things will ruin your pants. Also, who do you think you are? Shakespeare?

I never knew a stall in a public washroom could be so beneficial to the creative writing process. Maybe I’ll write my next blog post in one. You know, on location.

I’m talking way too much about washrooms. Let’s exit the washroom.

Washes hands.

The world is filled with germs and we all know it. We know it because we know that people don’t wash their hands, at least not properly.

What is this wetting your hands for three seconds and then drying them nonsense? I wrote a post about proper doorbell etiquette the other day, but it astounds me that some people don’t even know how to wash their hands.


I really want to have a lengthy conversation with someone who doesn’t wash their hands properly, or someone who doesn’t wash their hands after exiting a washroom, especially a public one where there are people to stare holes through the back of their head.

I think that conversation would be fascinating. I just want to know if they know how gross they are. And if they don’t, I want to see how serious they are when they tell me.

I’ll leave it at that. We don’t have to talk about people who pick their nose, or sneeze on others, or cough into their hands.

No, we don’t have to go any further.

I don’t want to make you sick.

About Paul

I think of my blog as an all-you-can-read buffet. There's something for everyone and complimentary mints at the door as you leave.
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51 Responses to People Are Gross

  1. cappy writes says:

    This post is a germaphobe’s worst nightmare. Or I suppose (more accurately) the entire world is a germaphobe’s worst nightmare… 😛

    Liked by 2 people

  2. 5ftFlyer says:

    What would you do if you saw someone leave the bathroom without washing, and later that night you are introduced to them by a friend, he then holds his hand out for you to shake. What’s your response?

    Yes women do talk in the bathrooms, purely because some of us just can’t be quiet.

    Lastly in response to your automatic flush paragraph, we have automatic flush, soap and hand dryers, but what about the door handle for women, granted I have never seen a woman leave the bathroom without washing her hands but, that’s the only one they have missed out.

    The only place I have seen something close to this is YoSushi in Leeds I think. It has a bag over the door handle before you leave so that after you have washed your hands you dont then cover it in more germs from leaving the bathroom. The bag over the handle changes every time the handle is pushed down. Pretty cool.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      Oh I wouldn’t shake their hand. I’d either call them out on it then, or I’d come up with an excuse like my hands had food on them or something. The door handle is often overlooked. That bag over the handle idea is quite smart, I’ve never seen or even heard of that before.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Barb Knowles says:

    When there are paper towels in the girl’s room at work, I use the towel to open the door upon exiting for-isn’t-it-gross-moments. However, as you said, I never think twice about touching other door handles.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. DoesItEvenMatterWhoIAm? says:

    Personally, I wash to the point where I have to carry lotion to keep from having cracks in my hands. I also carry sanitizer in my purse and car and I use both all the time. Do people not care about catching gonnoherpasyhphilitis? I mean jeez… it is nasty in bathrooms! I have SEEN things…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Human Interest says:

    Reblogged this on Human Interest.


  6. unrelentingmayhem says:

    I spend my day telling people to wash their hands before they touch me. It’s repulsive when someone tries to fluff my hair whilst eating something. I have no idea what’s wrong with them.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. markbialczak says:

    People who don’t wash their hands afterward shouldn’t be allowed to go potty in public restrooms. Lose their peeing privileges, Paul.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. BookwormwithOpinions says:

    Hahaha fyi there’s a lot of talk in the womens’ washroom. It mostly revolves around mirrors so you got that part right.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Karen says:

    Bravo to this post! Everyone needs to see this that do those exact same things. My favorite part was when you said let’s leave the washroom and typed washes hands. That’s something I would write! haha 😀 Germs are scary tho. My goodness, do I think about that every day I take the train.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. George says:

    I try hard, very hard not to think about ” those” people. Right now it’s not going very well..:)

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Little Rants says:

    Looool! Looks like Doctors are inspiring everyone a lot these days:P

    Liked by 1 person

  12. ACoupleTalks says:

    There was a hidden camera show once where they filmed people coming out of the stalls to see where they would head next. The number of people who headed straight to the exit was staggering. I think almost 20%. Gross. And don’t get me started on the ball pits at McDonald’s. Double gross.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      I’ve seen a few videos like that. Or even videos of people reacting to wet door handles. It’s gross. Ohhhh the ball puts at McDonald’s…that could be it’s own 1000 word blog post.


  13. Mindy says:

    Automatic toilets are the worst! I’d much rather flush the toilet myself and WASH MY HANDS, then have an automatic toilet flush while I’m still using it.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. rebbit7 says:

    Love this post! I always cringe when I see people not washing their hands after they go; it just irks me. I consider myself a germaphobe, and have actually written about it on my blog here:

    Liked by 1 person

  15. sigismundfedur96 says:

    what do you think an alien (Not! that they exist!) thinks of human bathing/grooming rituals?? J– (15(15(15) […–.. — . — . — .–]


  16. amorefado says:

    So, so, sooooo gross! I witnessed that MULTIPLE times this weekend at a club :\ that’s the one place you would MOST DEFINITELY want to wash your hands at! I have a sister who never ,ever, ever washes her hands after using the restroom. Absolutely horrifying, especially for someone who washes their hands WAY too many times a day, like myself. You did make me gag a bit, for the record.


  17. So many germs! It blows my mind how my coworkers use the bathroom and leave without even pretending to wash their hands. There is no shame…

    Liked by 1 person

  18. paigetheresa says:

    Congratulations, I haven’t wanted to wash my hands this much since I watched Contagion. *lies on the floor in the fetal position* It boggles my mind when I see people walk out without washing their hands, it’s just the ickiest thing ever.
    The part about men’s washrooms made me laugh out loud, alone, at my desk. There’s really no talking? That sounds dreadfully boring. You would hate a women’s washroom, then. It’s all “Oh my god! I love your shoes!” “Oh my god! How did you get your hair like that!?” “Oh my god! Your outfit is soooo cute!” Wait… That may just the washrooms at bars…. Either way, there’s a lot of talking. If women were always as nice to each other as they are in the washrooms, at bars – the world would be a much happier place..

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Haha always happy to provide some workplace humour!
      It’s scary that people take their washroom hands straight from a stall/urinal and bring them, as is, right back to their desk to touch their keyboard… Haha women’s washrooms sound like a meet & greet orientation. Yeah in the men’s it’s silent, no eye contact, buffer zones at the urinal so no one is directly next to anyone. It’s all scientific and unwritten.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. You have a real talent with captivating readers! I was hanging onto every word. You make me want to broaden my topics beyond illness although I doubt I can write nowhere near as well as you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Thank you! Ah don’t worry about comparing to me. I’m not that great haha. But seriously, feel free to experiment with topics. I started this blog with the intentions of just writing about sports. Now I rarely do.


  20. Pingback: Paul’s Not Here | The Captain's Speech

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