I Eat Pizza, Donuts, and Cookies

The jig is up. You caught me. I eat pizza. I eat donuts. I eat cookies. Arrest me. Sue me. Put me in jail. Actually, don’t do any of those last three things. I just said them for comedic purposes. I can’t go to jail. They don’t serve pizza…or donuts…or cookies.

During my third year of university, a cashier in the dining hall called me the Cookie Monster. Every time I bought a meal, I also got a pack of two cookies. She became like a Mom away from Mom. She even bought my roommate and I Christmas ornaments with our names on them. By far one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met.

So I embraced the Cookie Monster nickname.

When it comes to donuts, I love them. At school, there was a Tim Hortons across the street from my residence. If I was pulling an all-nighter, I would go across and buy a box of six donuts. This was my all-nighter food. It was extremely effective. I did my best work in the middle of the night. Thank you, donuts!

And then there’s pizza. What more can I say about pizza that I haven’t already said on this blog?

I found out that “Pizza Day” at my elementary school has drastically changed since I was a student there. For starters, they no longer give you a bag of chips with your one, or two, slices of pizza. And on top of that, they don’t even order pepperoni pizza anymore! They order cheese pizza.

Oh, the pizza is also made with whole wheat crust now. So whole wheat crust, plain cheese, and no bag of chips? I got out just in time. And no one can complain, because the rebuttal is “childhood obesity”, “lack of exercise”, and “unhealthy food.” Which are all valid rebuttals, if I might add.

However, I think it’s a bit extreme for little kids. I mean, it’s two slices of pizza and a bag of chips. Is one small bag of chips really that harmful to kids that run around at recess? Maybe it is. I don’t know.

Also, I’m very biased against whole wheat anything. To me, it’s always tasted like old man socks. No, I’ve never tried old man socks, but I know the taste. Don’t question it.

When it comes to foods that are deemed “unhealthy”, I feel as though a lot of people on social media shy away from admitting they like such foods.

I don’t know, I always see an abundance of pictures and statuses of salad, quinoa, whole wheat wraps, or some healthy dish where they must articulate every ingredient that’s in it. You know, in case you want to try it at home.

And then there are the slew of fitness, gym, workout, and active living pictures and statuses.

Don’t get me wrong, if people want to be healthy and tell others about it, that’s amazing. Whatever makes you happy. You do you! Don’t stop telling me you’re pumping iron. I need to know.

As sarcastic as that last paragraph may have sounded, I was actually being sincere.

I just wish I saw more pictures and statuses about foods that we all like to indulge in, but aren’t seen as healthy. It’s like we avoid them, as to not be judged. By no means am I promoting an unhealthy lifestyle. I’m just saying, if you eat a donut, why not tell people? Especially if you tell people you eat salads.

I’m not about to get into the debate of body image and what a “real” man or woman looks like. I think the whole conversation is a joke. If you have a body, then it’s “real.” What’s there to discuss?

My posting style on social media, for the most part, leans towards humour. Over the past year I’ve proudly posted pictures of pizza, donuts, and cookies. I’d like to say I did it in an attempt to offset all the healthy photos, but that wasn’t the case.

I did it because I like these foods, so why not be honest about it and put a humorous caption with the picture?

By the way, if you’re worried about my health, don’t be. I’ve never been in better shape. Six years ago as a freshman in university I lost 22 pounds. I’m the only person in the world (that I know of) that lost weight during the “Freshman 15” phase of life.

Don’t ask me how I lost that much weight, I don’t know. I’ve never been to a gym.

My doctor is happy, so I’m happy.

Anyways, here are the pictures and captions I’ve shared online to show my love for these foods.

Thought I’d get in on the “post a pic of yourself being healthy” craze. Just shovelled the driveway with ice pellets coming at me and then ate 3 cookies. #healthylifestyle #localhero #addanotherhashtagtoboast

Table for one at Pizza Hut lunch buffet. No shame.

Dinner time. Donut disturb. Also had a salad (not pictured).

Of course, you shouldn’t eat these foods for every meal, or even every day. I don’t eat pizza, donuts, or cookies every day. I sometimes go weeks without any of them.

Healthy meals are important. Being healthy is important. Exercise is important. All of that motivational stuff people post about is important.

But that doesn’t mean you need to feel guilty about eating pizza, donuts, or cookies every once in a while.

…unless your doctor says you shouldn’t.