Let’s Talk About Poutine

I don’t know any other way to write this without coming across as stubborn and closed-minded. Of course, that isn’t my intention. Hopefully you can find some humour in this. So here we go.

I don’t like poutine. This is a very serious crime when you live in Canada.

You get dirty looks and yelled at in all caps.

That’s great, but I don’t like poutine.

I’ve tried it before, so at least I’m coming from an informed perspective.

I like love fries with gravy. As long as the fries aren’t swimming in it, I think it’s delicious. But when you add cheese to the mix and call it poutine, I abandon ship.

First of all, it just looks disgusting. I’ve never fantasized about mixing cheese with gravy, or fries. Let alone both!

Cheese goes with pizza, or bread, or crackers, or sprinkled on top of pasta or in soup (parmesan). It does not go with gravy. And it certainly does not go with fries. Why does no one question this!?

It tastes soggy. It tastes thick. And it tastes like a stomach ache. I literally had to stop eating it after three bites the first time I had it. I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I don’t care if I wasted school meal plan money on it.

And don’t tell me: “Oh you should try poutine from another place. Maybe you’ll like it more.”

No. Don’t even go there. If you’ve had one poutine, you’ve had them all. So I assume.

Poutine is a sacred thing, apparently.

I went to McDonald’s today and ordered fries as a component of my meal. The cashier asked me: “Would you like poutine instead?” I laughed in my head and said, “No.” She gave me a disapproving look. The kind of look where she was thinking in her head, “Really? Why not?”

SORRY I DON’T LIKE POUTINE.

I guess it’s just one of those foods that everyone is expected to like. So is sushi. I’ve never tried sushi before. It could be really good and I could be missing out, but just by looking at sushi, it doesn’t invite me in and say, “try me.” It does the opposite.

“But Paul, don’t judge a book by it’s cover, or food by how it looks.”

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ve heard it all. As I said at the top, I don’t know how to write this without coming off as stubborn and closed-minded.

Now maybe that’s just me. In fact, I know it’s probably just me. Maybe I should be more open to trying new foods. I don’t know. I just don’t find sushi appealing in the least. Sorry.

That’s all I have to say.

If you like poutine, great. More power to you. I don’t, so leave me alone.

To each, their own.

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About Paul

This is the part where I'm supposed to write something interesting about myself and you'll read it and think, "That's not that interesting." So let's not do that and just think about pizza instead, on the count of three. One, two, three. Donuts. Now, wasn't that interesting?
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9 Responses to Let’s Talk About Poutine

  1. I’m with you. I totally judge food on how it looks. Even though it may taste like heaven, if it looks like sushi and how I can only imagine what poutine must look like (from your description), I’m not about to try it.

    Like

    • Paul says:

      Thank you! I always say that I eat with my eyes first, and try things second. Always skeptical about the things I consume.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Exactly! I am extremely skeptical over food — although I love food. And I do know that appealing presentation doesn’t guarantee satisfaction or a pleasant meal but I simply can’t get past what some things look like in order to try them…or some of the ingredients (or combinations thereof), such as the gravy and cheese of poutine.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I in fact also dislike poutine! I think it is a heart attack in the form of puke. It looks like a baby had an upset stomach and they placed the contents into a container lol

    Is it wrong that when I saw the title of your post I sang “let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me” lmao .. Random!

    Like

  3. I am probably the “fussiest eater” ever. I don’t eat seafood, pork, lamb and most cuts of beef. I don’t like cooked vegetables. People like what they like and there’s nothing wrong with that. I, however, DO love to have fries covered in cheese and tartare sauce. It is a little sickening after a while, but the first few mouthfuls are heaven. That being said, I also like dipping my fries in milkshakes, and I had a weird period where I would put maple syrup on chicken. Maybe I’m just a little odd 🙂

    Like

    • Paul says:

      That’s an interesting combination. At least it would look more appealing! haha you had me until you said you’ve had maple syrup on chicken…definitely a bit odd! But if it tastes good, that’s all that matters.

      Like

  4. markbialczak says:

    I’ve never tried poutine, Paul, and I never will. Yucko! I’m with you on the total unnecessariness of mixing fries, gravy and cheese. Do they have this abdomination in the States? I sure hope not? Ick. Ick. Ick.

    Like

    • Paul says:

      That is a fantastic life decision! I’m not sure if they have it in the States. Another blogger from the States commented on this post and claimed to have never seen it before, so maybe not. You are not missing out!…though 98% of Canada will say you are..

      Like

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