Doe & Bae, Go Away

I’ve reached a breaking point. I can’t hold off on this post any longer.

People need to stop using the word “doe.” They need to stop using it on social media, in texts, and verbally saying it out loud. Just delete it from your vocabulary completely. Thanks.

The proper word is “though.” Heck, even write the word “tho.” At least then I know that you know the first three letters of the word.

But no, people say “doe.” Why? Because it’s the latest buzz word making it’s way through popular culture and people everywhere jump on the latest trends. Or people just say it because it comes to them naturally. Or for a different reason. I don’t know. I don’t say “doe.”

I’m going to spell this out nice and clear now. A doe is a female deer. So every time you say the word “doe”, I’m picturing some animal that lives in the wilderness. “Doe” is also used as a placeholder for a last name of an unidentified body. Think about that.

Ah, but you don’t care about the definition behind the words you speak. Why would you?

I’m sick and tired of translating your “doe” into the word “though.” Sick and tired. I’m passed the point of the word even being used sarcastically.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to be the grammar police with this. Nor am I trying to tell you what language to use on the Internet. Okay, scratch that. That’s exactly what I’m telling you. All these slang words and terms have become extremely bothersome.

Perhaps I’m getting old. Hold on, some kids are on my lawn. Be right back.

Here’s another one: “bae”

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

“Before anyone else.”

Oh.

Okay.

Got it.

WHAT?

I’m gonna puke.

Before anyone else? What is this a lineup at the local deli? You going to tell me to take a number next? Before anyone else. I’m sitting here in disbelief as I type those words out. Really? Is this how poor our creativity is as a society when we try to give a title to a significant other? Have we stooped so low? When did this happen? Someone give me an exact date of when these three letters took over the world because I’d like to go back in time and stop it.

Why is this okay? When did the english language get taken out behind the woodshed? And no, I don’t think I’m overreacting. We are the only generation in the history of the world that talks like this. This is the furthest thing from eloquent writing on papyrus paper that there will ever be.

Doe. Bae.

Seriously, go on Twitter and type those two terms in and just see how many results within the last minute you’ll get. It’s mind-blowing.

Give me a break.

Go to work tomorrow and use those words in conversation with your boss. Let me know how it goes. Talk to customers or clients like that. Let me know how it goes.

Or are those terms specifically for friends and social media? If so, I don’t get it. I didn’t get the memo. Someone send me the manual on how to properly talk to people in the year 2014 because apparently I have no clue.

As I write this, I see “bae” underlined with a red line. Even when I type it out, it autocorrects to “bad.” Well at least my laptop is on my side.

Some of the people who read this will probably think I’m a fool for even writing about this and making a big deal out of it. That’s great. Can’t wait for you to send me a comment and include the word “doe” just to make your point. Bring it.

To summarize:

“Doe” is a female deer. “Though” is the word you really mean to use.

“Bae” is not a word. It is a poorly crafted acronym that needs to go away.

That’s my rant for the day. It’s not up for debate.

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