I Don’t Drink

By a show of hands, how many of you assumed I was talking about alcohol in the title?

That’s what I figured.

You’re right, by the way.

Why is it though that, “I don’t drink” is automatically connected with alcohol? In school, the teacher would call that an incomplete sentence. “Be more specific” is what they’d probably write on my paper, in their illegible handwriting. Yeah, that’s exactly what they’d write.

Oh, you can put your hands down now, if you haven’t already. Get some blood circulating.

I don’t drink coffee, either. But if this post were about that, I’d have to include the word “coffee” in the title.

Yet I don’t have to say, “I don’t drink alcohol”. You already knew that after just three words.

So, yes, I don’t drink. Never have. Not even a sip. Most of my friends know this, I think.

I went through University without ever succumbing to what was going on around me. Did I feel nervous going into first year, knowing that I would be in the vast minority? Yes and no. I was confident that it wouldn’t matter to the people that mattered. And I was right.

Some people asked me why I didn’t drink. Honestly, I didn’t have an answer for them. My “go to” answer was, “I just don’t.” That was the best answer I could come up with at the time. It might still be the best answer I can come up with, currently.

There was never a moment in my life where I sat myself down and told myself I wouldn’t. There was never an event that I witnessed that made me vow to never take a sip. I wasn’t scared straight by some guest speaker in high school who spoke about their addiction. No one ever told me not to. None of that.

Quite simply, I’ve never had the urge to try it. The thought has never crossed my mind.

I don’t care if I never find out what alcohol tastes like.

I don’t care if I never find out how it makes me feel.

I don’t care if I’m never able to answer the question, “what kind of drunk are you?”

I don’t care if I’m the only one in a group of people not drinking.

I don’t care. At all.

This isn’t a matter of beliefs. This isn’t a matter of me thinking I’m better than anyone else. It’s a choice. It’s a choice I have made for myself.

If something doesn’t interest you, you likely don’t do it.

Alcohol doesn’t interest me. I don’t drink. It’s really that simple.

I lived on the non-alcoholic floor in residence for 4 years. I’m sure people judged me for it. I’m sure some of you are judging me for it right now. Oh well. I met some of my best friends on those floors. I’d say it was worth it.

I have nothing against people that do drink. If I did, I wouldn’t have any friends. I’d also be a hypocrite. Just like not drinking is my choice, drinking is their choice. If drinking or not drinking a certain beverage is a deal breaker, then I probably don’t want to be your friend anyways.

If you’re paying attention, you have probably realized that I got through University without drinking alcohol and without drinking coffee. Is that rare? I think it’s rare.

Sure, I was exhausted 8 days of the week. What student isn’t? I tried coffee once; once. A sip, to be precise. Or maybe it was a slurp. Either way, I didn’t like it. I also didn’t need it. For some reason I was able to pull all-nighters with ease. I paid for it the next day, but who doesn’t like a good 1:00PM nap?

By no means am I a health nut. My grandmother wouldn’t let me be, even if I tried. Nevertheless, I’m still conscience of the things I consume and I’m aware of what the scale says to me. And from what I understand, alcohol can lead to weight gain.

If I want to gain weight, you better believe that I wouldn’t do it with a liquid substance. Oh no. I’d order myself a pizza and reply “absolutely” when the lady on the other end of the phone asks me if I want to add 20 wings and a side of cinnamon sticks to complete the combo. That is how I would go about gaining weight.

Also, I’ve seen enough of my friends pass out, act like someone they’re not, and puke as a result of alcohol, that it confirms to me that I never want to be in that situation myself.

I may once again be in the minority, but I don’t think puking my guts out is fun. I recently did so a few weeks ago and I thought I was one more hurl away from death. I’d rather walk barefoot on a long road covered in lego pieces, before I want to spend my night getting cozy with a toilet bowl.

Call me crazy.

Who knows, maybe I’m missing out.

I don’t think I am.

I don’t drink.

Cheers.

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About Paul

This is the part where I'm supposed to write something interesting about myself and you'll read it and think, "That's not that interesting." So let's not do that and just think about pizza instead, on the count of three. One, two, three. Donuts. Now, wasn't that interesting?
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21 Responses to I Don’t Drink

  1. gewoonkim says:

    Hi Paul,

    This is one of the first blogposts without pictures that I have read from the beginning to the end, with lots of pleasure. Like your writing style!

    Kind regards,
    Kim

    Like

  2. Okay there are a few things I have to ask, here it goes..
    Will you marry me?
    Are you an organ donor?
    Can I have your liver?
    Where have you been all my li-I-I-I-fe? (8)(Rihanna)
    Why are you the coolest person alive?
    I’m kidding :P, I’m not trying to be obnoxious lol! But love the post! Love your life choice! Support it 110% never change!
    Where’s the wine?
    Hope this comment makes you laugh, I laughed in my head twice writing this.

    Like

  3. Tikimatic says:

    You are not missing anything other than the delectable taste of cider beer… That’s about it. 😉

    Like

  4. kkessler833 says:

    I don’t drink either and I don’t appreciate people that look at me like I am from Mars. When I was young I decided there was one sure way to avoid becoming an alcoholic – just don’t drink alcohol at all.
    I have known a lot of people that made me very glad I don’t drink.

    Like

  5. markbialczak says:

    Good for you, Paul. It seems like you do not judge. I do drink beer. I do not want to overindulge, act dumb, get hungover. I have in my past, when I was your age, even somewhat older. It feels like fun at the time, after, not at all. As you said, you do not have to find out. Anyway, my point is, non-drinkers and responsible drinkers should get along and try to make sure over-drinkers don’t drive and get home safe and sound. Great post, as always, I hope you are well as we head to summer!

    Like

  6. Story of my life…

    “Why don’t you like to get drunk? Live a little, like everyone else.”

    “Well, I’m not like everyone else”

    Like

  7. Maja Elsa says:

    Paul. You’re an awesome writer. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. paigetheresa says:

    This is so crazy. 100% respect! I couldn’t do it. Between tea/coffee and my fat burner pills, I consume the caffeine equivalent of about 4 cups of coffee/day and I love alcohol…

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Pingback: Paul’s Not Here | The Captain's Speech

  10. Barb Knowles says:

    How is it possible that I missed this one? Personal choices are just that. Personal. 😃

    Liked by 1 person

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