This Is Twitter

Twitter is this:

Twitter is a couch that everyone sits on to watch a television show.

Twitter is a sports arena, full of fans who heckle and cheer until they lose their voice.

Twitter is a place where people shake their head a lot and let you know about it in 3 simple consonants.

Twitter is a diary that is left out in the open.

Twitter is the graveyard for spelling, grammar, and proper sentence structure.

Twitter is what we wake up to every morning before rolling out of bed.

Twitter is a concert with millions of people who recite one verse at a time.

Twitter is a place for subliminal messages, because why would you ever say exactly what you’re thinking?

Twitter is a cult with millions of followers.

Twitter is a place that uses “hashtags”, not the pound key, number sign, or the universal symbol for the beginning of a game of tic-tac-toe.

Twitter is a place where strangers can follow you.

Twitter is the official language of birds, I think, maybe.

Twitter is a newspaper you can hold without getting newsprint on your hands.

Twitter is a playground where people get picked on.

Twitter is the doorbell of famous person’s house that we ring, hoping they’ll answer, but don’t.

Twitter is the only place where people can get away with talking through an entire television episode and not get yelled at.

Twitter is a place that teaches us it’s ok to have more than one favourite.

Twitter is a small sheet of paper that only fits so many words before cutting us off unexpec..

Twitter is not Facebook, which means you can post multiple times in one day without annoying anyone.

Twitter is the friend we turn to when we’re standing or sitting somewhere by ourselves and don’t want to look lonely.

Twitter is the only place where famous people follow you.

Twitter is a comedy club full of aspiring comedians.

Twitter is a place where people that don’t know each other can become friends one sentence at a time.

Twitter is Facebook’s uncool little brother, except to those who actually know the little brother.

Twitter is a jogger that keeps running after they are refreshed.

Twitter is a really big classroom.

Twitter is the popular table in high school, full of new trends and the latest gossip.

Twitter is the 6 o’clock news, all hours of the day.

Twitter is a place that keeps track of how many times we spoke up.

Twitter is an inspirational speech that never ends.

Twitter is an overwhelming setting where everyone is talking at you, not with you.

Twitter is an airplane that can take us to a different country.

Twitter is a place for plagiarism and stealing other people’s thoughts.

Twitter is a time machine that allows us to go back and delete things we once said.

Twitter is a relationship with no end goal. Seriously, are we supposed to tweet forever?

Twitter is a place where people want to be followed by strangers, but are creeped out when it actually happens.

Twitter is a megaphone that people use to broadcast their lives.

Twitter is a private place, for people that don’t want to be stalked by people they don’t know.

Twitter is an exciting carnival ride every time at least one person favourites your tweet.

Twitter is the only pocketless pair of shorts you’ll wear, because you like them that much.

Twitter is, like this post, a series of thoughts 140 characters or less that allow us to cut every long story, short.

This is Twitter.

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About Paul

This is the part where I'm supposed to write something interesting about myself and you'll read it and think, "That's not that interesting." So let's not do that and just think about pizza instead, on the count of three. One, two, three. Donuts. Now, wasn't that interesting?
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2 Responses to This Is Twitter

  1. Twatter! I actually just watched the social network movie yesterday for the first time and thought… “When will they make a movie based on the creator of twitter?”
    🙂 me likey

    Like

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