An Ode To The Internet

O look at you sitting there on my computer screen,
I’ve been accessing you since before I was a teen;
First it was Explorer and then Safari,
Thank you for letting me search pictures of calamari.

I used Yahoo back in the day,
But avoid it now unless it has something important to say;
Many agree that Google is king,
I don’t ever see myself using Bing.

Facebook is one of the most popular sites, 
It’s a place for spelling and grammar fights;
As pictures and statuses flood my feed,
I’m reminded that a “like” is all they need.

Twitter is where people tweet, tweet, and tweet some more,
Just like the birds outside, every morning at four;
Communicate with friends and celebrities until you’re a nag,
Just as long as you create a really long hashtag.

Wikipedia made homework such a breeze,
Even though it turned out to be a tease;
It’s an unreliable source the teacher said,
Gimme a break I just wanted to go to bed.

Fantasy sports are a full-time job,
I don’t even have time to eat corn on the cob;
It’s a sad moment when one of my players gets hurt,
To the waiver wire I go to pick up some guy named Kurt.

YouTube doesn’t allow videos that are bad,
What do you mean I can’t skip this two minute ad?
Read the comment section and you might die,
Have no fear the chain letters are a lie.

Watching television shows has never been so easy,
Season finale cliffhangers make me feel queasy;
While some watch The Walking Dead in a sweat,
I’m wondering how Carl isn’t dead yet.

Clear the browser history,
The past is a mystery;
Bookmark a page,
You’re in the committed stage.

I can’t believe you’ve been around for 25 years,
When you crash, people are bored to tears;
And thus is the world wide web,
Responsible for making eyeballs red.

Fin.