The Facebook Cycle

What’s on your mind? Every day, Facebook asks us this simple question. Some of us answer it. Some of us avoid the question for a few days like a text message from someone we don’t want to talk to. Eventually, most of us answer the question. Sometimes, our answer is funny. Sometimes, it is a quote, or song lyrics that are subliminally directed at one individual. Sometimes, our answer is a link to something on the Internet – like my blog. Regardless, we answer the question. And in doing so, we make a Facebook status – one that is unique. However, as the years go by, our answer to “What’s on your mind?” can’t help but get redundant. It’s what I call, The Facebook Cycle.

I was “late” to the party when it came to setting up a Facebook account – I joined in 2009. Friends in high school always said to me: “Get Facebook!” or “Do you have Facebook?” Funny, just a few years prior, the popular question was, “Do you have MSN?” I didn’t know what Facebook was, other than something everyone had.

The more people tell me to do something, the less I want to do it. It’s just the way I am. Or at least that’s my reason for procrastinating in University. That, and I’m a wizard with words during the middle of the night, but can’t put a sentence together to save my life, during the day. Hence the procrastination.

Back to Facebook.

Facebook is a great way to stay connected with people, without even talking to them. All it takes is a “like” on one of their photos or statuses. (Twitter is the same way with “Favourites” and “Retweets”). Another way to stay connected is to engage in a poke war. Personally, I’m in about five poke wars right now. Obviously, “poking” someone doesn’t replace a real conversation, but it acknowledges the other person’s existence.

I’ve learned to accept the fact that people can post whatever they want on Facebook. After all, most of us log on in the first place to see what everyone else is up to. So if you want to post five status updates in one day, all the power to you. It gives me something to read. If you want to take a picture of yourself every other day of the week so you can have your friends compare what you look like on a Monday, to what you look like on a Friday, be my guest. It’s your Facebook, I’m just a friend of it.

Now to the meat of this blog post. It’s time to explain The Facebook Cycle.

In short, The Facebook Cycle refers to statuses that multiple people post, every year, during the same time of year. I’m not referring to statuses like, “Happy Birthday” or “Happy New Year” or “Happy Easter”. Those are all fixed events on a calendar. I’m talking about other things.

Now, I am going to go month-by-month and give examples of statuses that I always see.

START
Note:

*Some examples may be exaggerated to make a point.
**Personal c
ommentary in italics. 

January
“Back to school! Can’t wait to see everyone!”

“SNOW DAY!!!”

“I hate snow.” (You don’t when it’s a snow day, though. Fact.)

“My New Year’s Resolution is…..”

February
“Happy Valentine’s Day!! <) I love my girlfriend/boyfriend soo much! (Insert picture to make others jealous).”

“I can’t wait until reading week.” (AKA “I’m tired of school, my housemates, and cooking for myself. Get me outta here.”)

“Noooo. 6 more weeks of winter. :(” (Yeah, blame a groundhog)

“WOOOO READING WEEK!!!”

“5 assignments, 4 days, 3 exams, 2 all-nighters, 1 eye flickering.”

“Exam schedule is out. Once again, I have an exam on the last day. Thanks (insert school).” (Makes me laugh 11 times out of 10.)

March
“HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY!!” (AKA “IM NOT IRISH, BUT TODAY I AM! WOO DRINKING!!”)

“Finished my last assignment of the semester.”

“Such nice weather today!”

April
“Five exams in six days. Kill me.” (If you can’t write a final exam after pulling an all-nighter, you don’t belong in a post-secondary institution.)

“I love spring! It’s my favourite season! Oh my God, it’s spring!”

“1/5”

“2/5”

“3/5”

“4/5”

“5/5 DONE EXAMS.” (Oh, I thought you were practicing your fractions for the last 2 weeks.)

May
“I’m bored. Anyone wanna hang out?”

“I got a job at ______!!!”

“GO LEAFS GO!! AHHH PLAYOFFS!!” (Like I said, these statuses happen every year.)

“May the fourth be with you!!!” (I’m not even gonna comment on this one.)

June
“It is sooo hot outside. I hate cold weather and I hate hot weather. I complain about both.”

*Pictures of person at the beach*

*Pictures of person in warm location on vacation*

July
“Course selection is so stupid!! It’s been an hour and I’ve only applied to one class!! The system is ridiculous!! This happens every year!!” (I feel bad that people have to go through this. I’m lucky I never had 1 problem, in 4 years, with course selection. Or maybe I just did it right.)

“The mandatory class, that I have to take, IS FULL!!” (PANIC)

“Took me 15 minutes to register to 5 classes.” (If you make this your status, I will “like” it.)

*Status about baseball*

August
(August is a very boring month on Facebook. Not much going on until the final week.)

“Can’t wait to move back to school and see everyone! I can’t believe summer is already over!”

September
“Back at school with my best friends!!” (….who I will hate by April.)

“WOOOO O-WEEK/FROSH WEEK!!!”

“What day does school start?” (This one kills me every time. I love it.)

“Assignments already…”

October
“Hell week. (insert # of assignments here).” (Sleep-deprived students wandering the hallways. Tough week. Builds character. Increases all-nighter tally.)

“HALLOWEEN!”

*Insert pictures of slutty/intelligent/store-bought/homemade/last minute/embarrassing/clever/coordinated Halloween costumes* (I think I got them all.)

November
“Is it too soon to start listening to Christmas music?” (Yes)

“It is freeeeeezing outside.”

“I love fall (insert pictures of leaves)”

“OMG IT’S SNOWING!!!”

December
“Listening to Christmas music and studying!”

“I love Christmas music!”

(Insert lyrics from a Christmas song).

“I hate hate hate snow.”

“It’s like everyone forgot how to drive as soon as the bad weather starts.”

“Happy Festivus!” (For the rest of us.)

“Everyone else is done exams and I’m stuck at school until the last day, again.” 

*Insert pictures of people and their family wearing warm, Christmas, sweaters*
END

And that is what I call The Facebook Cycle. Am I guilty of some of those? Sure. Do I have problems with any of them? Sure. But people can say whatever they want. They can post whatever pictures they want. I can’t stop them.

Honestly, I find it hilarious. It’s the same thing every year. People complaining about their assignments, the weather, course selection, and life in general. It’s all very redundant, but amusing, for some reason.

Can it all change? Maybe. I mean, I haven’t received a Farmville request in years. I guess that means that Farmville is dead? RIP animals? I never played that game. Was it even a game? Looked like it became a way of life for some people. Again, another classic case of everyone doing it, except me.

If there is anything on my list that I forgot, feel free to comment below. These are my observations. This post was not meant to offend anyone, nor was it directed at anyone, specifically. It was directed at everyone.

Until next time, I’ll be bracing myself for all of these upcoming statuses.

And that is what’s on my mind. Hope you “liked” it.

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About Paul

This is the part where I'm supposed to write something interesting about myself and you'll read it and think, "That's not that interesting." So let's not do that and just think about pizza instead, on the count of three. One, two, three. Donuts. Now, wasn't that interesting?
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3 Responses to The Facebook Cycle

  1. Charleen says:

    Honestly, I prefer those repetitive statuses because at least it’s an update on what’s going on in the person’s life. That’s why I’m on FB, to connect with people I never get to see anymore. Unfortunately, it seems like most people now use it to share memes and guilt-inducing chain statuses.

    I never use it anymore. I haven’t actually deleted my account, but it’s only a matter of time.

    Like

    • Paul says:

      That is very true! I can’t stand the memes and chain statuses. Not sure what people are thinking when they post a chain status in the first place. Thanks for the comment!

      Like

  2. Jake Elliot says:

    hahaha Paul another classic!! I have to admit I never did Farmville!! 🙂 Maybe I should post a joke status about exams, pretty nice to be done eh!

    Like

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